I went to the doctor because I was having panic attacks. I already knew I had an anxiety disorder, I have since I was a kid, so I assumed I was only going to resume treatment. The doctor just started me back on some meds like usual, but sent me off for some blood tests out of routine.

I don’t want to get specific but, as it turns out, there was a lot more going on. I’d been feeling sick for a long time. It seems ridiculous looking back just how sick I let myself become but never even considered seeing a doctor about it. I had a thousand excuses for why it might be happening but not a big deal, and a thousand more lying to myself that it was normal and I wasn’t sick at all.

I spent the next two years with medical appointments at least twice a week and referred to various specialists. My inner elbow looks like a junkie’s from all the tests. I am still not close to where I used to be, but I’m feeling a lot better these days.