A few months ago, there was a post on the antifeminist sub. The post was a screenshot from an incel website that was posted on the Nothowgirlswork sub. There was a comment from nothowgirlswork which roasted the incel post.
The incel said he felt anxiety when he walked on the streets and saw women. The comment from nothowgirlswork was ridiculing him for feeling fear of women. He didn’t say anything misogynistic. There are some incels (on incel websites) who condone horrible things like raping women. This post was not like that.
It made me think that society expects men to be fearless and brave. Men are human and fear is a normal emotion that everyone has. It’s normal to feel anxiety around women, if the man has been traumatized in the past. Maybe the incel was traumatized by a woman in the past. People shouldn’t judge someone without knowing them.
The truth is women can be just as dangerous as men. Society has to stop thinking women are not as dangerous.
If a woman said she felt anxiety around men, redditors would be supporting her. They would say men are rapists and she should be scared of them. She would get all the empathy and sympathy. Reddit shows what people think secretly. Many people in society have this double standard too.
I don’t see people in society acting as though women have no potential for violence and are not dangerous, merely that the average woman is less dangerous than the average man: a fact that is held up by statistics.
Fear is a normal emotion though and you’re allowed to feel fear. What you’re not allowed to do is let fear become phobia. If men scare you so much you can’t go outside: see a therapist. You’re unreasonable at that point. If women scare you so much that you are afraid of even seeing them: go see a therapist. Fear has become phobia and phobias are a dysfunction.
Anxiety and concern are normal but nobody should be supported or encouraged to feed those anxieties and fears to an unreasonable degree.
So why do I have only see the “therapy” suggestion on mens’ posts, while women get unending support?
Confirmation bias is a helluva drug
There are plenty of posts telling women they’re delusional and they’re imagining things. Plenty telling them to seek help. You don’t remember them because they don’t offend you.
On my end of confirmation bias: I’ve seen plenty of men express vulnerability and get support and compassion.
Anecdotes are not data.
Where?
The average women is less dangerous than the average man when you take weapons and proxy violence out of the picture
How convenient that you do, as well.
90% of homicide and 80% of violent crime.
Even though women have weapons too, they’re not statistically as dangerous.
I’m not talking about physical differences. I’m talking statistical differences.
As such that affects perception.
You and I might both know that we’re not dangers but until all the other men do better we’re statistically and perceptually in the higher risk category.
I just think it was wrong of the commenter from nothowgirlswork to ridicule that guy. I also read a statistic today which said 49% of domestic violence victims are men.
Agreed: ridiculed is not helpful.
But he should seek therapy for his phobias as much as a woman should.
As for the 49% statistic: that may be true, but the statistics I’ve seen here done support it: https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS
Yeah, he can get therapy if he feels like it.
It’s not useful if he doesn’t feel like it