Everyone has “custom” pronouns. Some just match possible preconceived notions about them.
Specifically on she/they:
I use this on the internet sometimes because, when I give someone help on something technical, 90% of the time they thank an imaginary bloke. And if I correct them I’ll get trolls harassing me and patronising pricks giving me tips for beginners (including, often, the person whose question I answered).
When you don’t know, keep it neutral. Reinforcing stereotypes is harmful even if you mean no harm.
Interested I hearing about this. I try to be thoughtful and tactful about this choice when referring to folk but I wish I knew more about it to be improve about how to properly address folk.
Just use “they” by default (or the persons name) until you know what they prefer
I asked one person, they just said that she didn’t care. It’s annoying because I don’t know how to address him.
I’d default to they, and if they tell you to use something else, use it.
