I was really worried that they would tell me I wasn’t autistic. I stressed out about it for over a month straight. Like, I would complete online autism scales to confirm “that I was still autistic”. Once at the assessment, I remember thinking that there was a moment when the psychologist had already made a clinical decision as if the conclusion was that evident early on in the process.
Fast forward to today, and yeah…there is no way I would have passed as not autistic. I wouldn’t be able to pass as not autistic if I was trained by a team of psychologists on how to look not autistic at that assessment. It’s so obvious lol. I seriously thought that I would inadvertently mask the entire way my brain works to a specialist using a thoroughly vetted exam. How funny! All that stress was for nothing.
I’m making a second attempt at getting an assessment and I have the same worry. I feel like I’m in this weird space where I’m too autistic to be NT, but too NT to be autistic. Coupled with also having schizoid symptoms.
any update you’re willing to share?
