I don’t believe it’s creepy for two consenting adults with a large age gap to date. If a 25 year old woman dates a 50 year old man, I don’t think it’s creepy. It’s none of my business. I don’t judge them.
A man who dates younger women is called “creepy.” A woman who dates younger men is called a cougar. Leonardo DiCaprio was judged harshly for dating a 19 year old woman. Most older women are not judged for dating younger men.
Sometimes it’s hard to find a partner of the same age. For example, if a man divorces at 50, it would be hard to find a 50 year old woman. He would have to date someone younger.
The double standard is that men get judged harshly. Society has to change it’s attitude.
For example, if a man divorces at 50, it would be hard to find a 50 year old woman.
Why? Do women tend to die at 49?
Obviously 50 year olds are in the dating pool. The man is one of them.
Women tend to live longer, right? Especially when they’re unmarried, so you’d think it’d be even easier for a divorced 50 year old to find an older partner.
If you have to worry whether it’s creepy, it’s probably creepy.
This is a good question and I’m glad you asked. What often gets ignored is that the detail of “two consenting adults” bit. I think it depends.
The ages of 18-21 are so different and full of experience and change. Lots of firsts for many, and going out into the world… I’d say it’s not only creepy, but predatory for someone to date that age range when they are decades older. It’s not the behavior of a mature adult to seek the company of inexperienced adults.
This actually happened to my sister when she was barely 18, groomed by a much older coworker. He was the first guy to pay attention to her. She never had a youth after that. But she did have a kid. Now she’s essentially caring for a teenager and a grandpa.
It depends on how big the age gap is, what the power balance is, etc. Like a 18yo with a 28yo is not the same as a 50yo with a 60 yo
“Creepy” is a word that should be used for Halloween IMO. I think the societal standards are something like (half age +7) for the older person in the relationship.
They are adults. They can date who they want. It’s not creepy or wrong. People should stay out of the private business of other adults. If it makes the couple happy, more power to them, I say.
The law of “does it seem creepy” is easy to understand.
The double standard is that men get judged harshly. Society has to change it’s attitude.
This discussion is a clear indicator that men judge each other quite harshly on the topic. The absolutist attitudes portrayed by some members here are the exact problem we are dealing with.
I am glad however that there are more sane members here than unsane –> “it depends” is the answer.
I believe it’s important to avoid a blanket judgment when it comes to these cases, as labeling all of them as creepy oversimplifies the situation. Each case should be considered individually.
For instance, if a man is drawn to a much younger woman solely due to her age, that does raise concerns. Similarly, if he’s pursuing younger women for the sake of exerting control, that’s undeniably unsettling.
On the other hand, if a man genuinely values a woman’s personality, appreciates her qualities, and they share a mutual affection, there shouldn’t be an issue. Assuming that a woman is being exploited solely due to a significant age difference undermines her intellectual capabilities.
It’s vital not to rush to judgment without the full context.
Doesn’t Leonardo dump them when they get to a certain age?
He does and it’s wrong.
Yeah I think it makes it significantly worse. Like it’s obviously not love at that point.
as long both adults are happy, why should anyone have the right to break the relationship up because it’s not compatible with their personal, post-liberal moral compass?
Sometimes when the difference is too big, I get a strange feeling about it - but I also don’t like to judge people. But there is always a potential for a bad power dynamic since older people will often have more material mean and maybe more important life experience, to play the emotional immaturity of the younger person. But that’s the same for women and man, and is more a case by case thing.
Yes, sometimes the younger person is a gold digger.
True, which is also shitty - except if that’s what everyone involved is into.
The younger person is predatory in that case. Older people don’t always have more power.
Never claimed that older people always have more power. They have more experience, which can lead to better understanding of the word and had more time to improve their material conditions. But there are for sure naive and poor old people. That’s why I concluded that it’s a case by case situation - since it’s not age but power dynamic that can(!) be problematic.
It really depends. In general there are maturity gaps along with age gaps. 25 is still pretty young maturity wise. Which is fine if the other person is in thier 30’s. I couldn’t see myself being with anyone under 30 now that I’m in my 40’s.
But, to each thier own.
People don’t always get more mature with age.
There’s a big difference between being immature in your 20’s and being immature in your 50’s
Most people probably don’t get more mature past a certain age.
If that’s the story you’re going with.
