Fro some reason without paying much attention to the time duration it took a friend to reply I always end up replying within the same amount of time as my friends without thinking much of it, then I’ll see the time they sent the message.

If a friend replies in an hour I typically respond probably subconsciously in an hour (plus or minus 10 minutes), then realize it took them an hour after I respond. Idk why.

Is this something “normal”? Does anyone else do this?

  • undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    19 days ago

    it’s a bad to look “desperate”

    I see this from time to time, and really all I can think is “do people really think like this?”

    I work from home and a lot of times while waiting for CI I take a look at my phone and oftentimes I get texts and respond immediately.

    Who is it exactly that would perceive this as desperate? I’m not going to hide the fact I was at my phone when I was just to make people think higher of me, and I really don’t understand this thinking at all.

    • EmbarrassedDrum@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      18 days ago

      I agree with what you’re saying. if you just happen to be on the phone when someone texts, there’s no problem in answering immediately.

      I don’t think anyone is “desperate” is they reply quick. I just think they replied quick.

      If I think they’re busy and don’t wanna interrupt, then they’ll just read the message at their own time. Don’t see any reason to play these games.

      • undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        18 days ago

        Me neither. I don’t expect texting to be instant either and basically have the same attitude you do.

        I remember for the longest time family would be angry that I texted them at night, and I’d always think to myself “then just respond later?”

    • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      18 days ago

      If you respond instantly at any point during the day it can mean you’re not doing anything the entire day or you’re actually desperate for interaction. If you don’t feel secure in your relationship with someone you might want them to think you have a lot going on.

      Also, some research shows being less available can make you seem more valuable. This article is related to business relationships but it’s the same principle. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/18/smarter-living/benefits-of-being-scarce.html