24 M at a 3‑way fork for my life:

① Seattle/Portland SWE job,

② unfunded CS PhD (live with in‑laws),

③ $90 k Columbia BME master’s.

Which of these should I do?

Stats:

Me:

24 M, fresh BS CS (+ physics minor, 4.45 GPA, undergraduate research internships, swift student challenge winner, US citizen)

Spouse:

27 M, tech lead remote, $210 k comp, recession resistant job, very smart. But is not yet a citizen, temporary protective status from Syria, been in US since he was 13, scary times but ignoring it.

Current debt: 60 k @ 14 % (2k / mo) (Consolidated credit card debt)

Accepted programs:

  • PhD CS @ UCCS  (3-4yrs, 20k per year est)

  • MS Bio Medical Engineering @ Columbia (18 mo, $90 k tuition) (Have two weeks to accept/decline)

We like the PNW, the humidity and rain, and culture have been so nice(at ABnB right now). I could maybe get a tech job at about 100k, but slightly concerned with this economy, love research, my dream job would be R&D engineering job in the long term, but often requires masters/PhD.

Or maybe I pay money and network with rich people and create a start up at Columbia, or maybe I should start working now in case my spouse gets deported and we need to do something(sorta in denial about this option for now).

Or maybe we live in big house with my spouses parents (adoptive US citizens) in the country, like we have for 5 years now, but the 40 minute commute for UCCS PhD and isolation in Colorado Springs is something my partner, and to some extent I, want to leave. (Very loving and supportive, very grateful for them but we want to be adults and decide things like what’s for dinner for ourselves).

Or maybe I’m young and dumb and lack perspective and we should stay there until we pay down debt, but maybe moving is the jolt we need to start budgeting properly.

(Consolidated credit card debt is going down from 80k, just that partner used to have slightly excessive lifestyle, and has paid my way through college)

What do I do with my life?

So many choices right now, and they feel so final, difficulty sleeping for the past few nights.

Thank you for all your thoughts ahead of time!

  • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
    4·
    1 day ago

    You know that old cracker, “when you’re on your death bed looking back at your life, what will you wish you’d done?”

    I’m not at the end of my life, but well past your decisions. And I can say, without hesitation: do what you think will give you most life satisfaction.

    I was at a similar 3-fork, and chose the “career first” approach. I got stuck in a cycle of jobs and promotions which led me to be reasonably well off, but it required sacrifices: moving to places I didn’t much care for, working on projects I had no passion about, and ultimately being promoted into a position where I really hated what I was doing. And then did that for ten years, with promotions that only took me further from the things I loved and filling more hours of my life with things which I didn’t.

    Also, I’d suggest you look at the future and play Nostradamus. In our career (we had the same), with LLMs, will you need happy? It’s maybe not soon, but inevitably LLMs and AI-adjacent technologies will make “computer programming” a very different job. For decades, people have been trying to put programmers out of work - remember “no code/low code” platforms? They’re still out there, and while they had a phase and many disillusioned customers, LLMs are only make them better, and one day, they won’t suck. Will you be happy if your job consists mostly of trying to translate business requirements into LLM queries, and then debugging its code?

    I’m not an expert, but I would wager bio medical engineering is safer from AI than CIS. And, probably, more competitive yet lucrative.

    I can’t tell you what’s best for you, but I can tell you that you won’t get smarter, only possibly wiser. The older you get, the harder it is to learn new fields, especially in STEM. If you don’t do a PhD it now, odds are greatly reduced that you’ll do it ever.

    The PNW is a fantastic area. Be aware that Seasonal Affective Disorder is a thing, and you may not detect symptoms until after several years. It’s not common, but it’s also not rare.

    Finally, if you plan on staying with your SO as a life partner, consider their life path carefully. If they work in a field where all of the best jobs are in Boston, for instance, that’s eventually going to become a topic.

    You’re facing - IMHO - one of those fulcrum-of-life decisions which will drastically alter your destination in profound ways. Good luck.