This question is a joke. Also, the mods should add a joke tag to allow dumb answers.

  • HSL@wayfarershaven.eu
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    1 year ago

    Tags don’t exist in Lemmy, so it’s not something we can add to the community. How about adding [joke] or [non-serious answers only]?

    • theshatterstone54@feddit.uk
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      1 year ago

      Indeed. Wasn’t one of the commandments to avoid false idols and stuff? And wasn’t one of Jesus’ things about you being able to directly pray to god or something? Just saying, the church is and always has been a scam, a political institution used to better control the masses, especially applicable in large population nations and empires (like the Roman Empire), loosely based on ideas of some guys’ teachings. And that’s the case for all organised religion.

      • cerement@slrpnk.net
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        1 year ago

        there are stories that in the Councils to determine which gospels to include in the New Testament, one of the first gospels to be deemed heretical was one where Jesus argued against the establishment of a church …

          • cerement@slrpnk.net
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            1 year ago

            heads up, there’s a reason I labeled them “stories” (certainly not something you can confirm through the church) – most of the stories come up as “secret knowledge” within the various esoteric/hermetic/gnostic sects and usually make reference to the Gospel of Mary Magdalene

            • possibilities include
              • most likely, Gospel of Mary, part of the Berlin Codex – somewhere between 100 and 150 CE maybe
              • less likely, Dialogue of the Saviour, part of the Nag Hammadi library – maybe 150 CE
            • two main councils for determining the New Testament (and remember they didn’t have carbon dating to determine authenticity)
            • we do know
              • the 12 disciples were sexist
              • Mary Magdalene was a single noble lady – a perfect target for misogynistic slander painting her as a prostitute
            • redballooon@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              Wait, does your story include that the council found it preferable to say the Son of God, King of the Jews, legitimate heir of King David, hangs out with a prostitute than with a noble woman?

              • theshatterstone54@feddit.uk
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                1 year ago

                Considering that we’re talking about powerful men, that wanted to remain exactly that: powerful men, and not have their authority questioned by women, yes, yes they did.

              • cerement@slrpnk.net
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                1 year ago

                more insipid than that – that he would rather spend time with her instead of his “best buds” was clearly not right, so she must’ve been cheating – and if she was a proper woman, she would’ve been married already, something must be wrong with her …

  • sylver_dragon@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    We don’t worship the Christian god. If you look at a US dollar bill, this is explained quite clearly.
    In God We Trust.
    This is printed right there, on our real god: money.

    • phorq@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Blasphemer! “Money” is always spelled with a capital letter! or are you not a capitalist?

      • sylver_dragon@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Our Money, which art in our wallet.
        Hallowed be thy buying power.
        Thy interest come, thy inflation be done.
        In our bank accounts as it is in the Fed.
        Buy us this day our daily bread,
        and forgive us our impulse buys
        as we forgive those who advertise against us.
        And lead us not into poverty
        but deliver us from want.
        For thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the wealth
        for ever and ever.
        Cha-ching!

        • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          This is gooood! It’s it original? (sorry not meaning to be a dick)

          I feel like it weekend slightly around impulse buys and advertising, but otherwise I love it!

          • sylver_dragon@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Yup, just made it up on the spot. Granted, I had to use Wikipedia to remind me of the original text of the Lord’s Prayer. It’s been a few decades since I broke away from the indoctrination of my youth.

  • Molehill8244@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I’m pretty sure most Trump supporters already worship him more than God so it seems to be on its way 😅

    • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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      1 year ago

      Was going to say… ask any Christian what their favorite parts of America are and they’ll prattle off exactly what corporations want them to say.

  • loaf@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I’m going to go pray to my wallet now for your heathen soul. May the Almighty Dollar bless you and not send you to Debt.

  • kava@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    We have slowly been in the process of this for a long time. People are becoming less religious but more consumerist. Traditional religion is being replaced by influencers, celebrities, brand names, etc.

    We’re never going to outright call it religion but it is functioning in a similar role for our society.

    • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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      1 year ago

      Instagram is a force that gives us meaning! A sad, thin and nutrient-poor sort of meaning but it does seem to calm the shakes for some people.

  • Today@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    We do that too. That’s what our nationall holidays are about - greeting cards, candy, tires, and tvs.

    • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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      1 year ago

      They seriously watch Christmas specials all about anti-consumerism and finding the real meaning, then immediately go out and buy buy buy. Legit riots on black friday just to save a bit. It’s so disconnected that it’s just baffling to me. Our family has strict spending limits on gifts - if we even give them at all. We have enough stuff, keep your money

  • Today@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If you were going to choose s corporation to worship, which would it be?

    I really like Costco. They have almost everything i ‘need’ and you can get a hot dog and a soda for $1.50.

  • badelf@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    The “God” actually is a worldwide mega-corporation, or few business in a particular market