For lack of a beter example, on stackoverflow, when someone down votes you, it comes with a comment saying how to improve. … These platforms are a joy to use

I don’t know what part of the internet you are from, but where I am from, Stackoverflow is looked down on as the quintessential example of toxic behaviour.

I’ve found some of the most dismissive people in tiny stack exchange groups, and experienced similar unexplained downvotes.

What SO, Reddit, and Lemmy maybe all have in common I think, is people tend to agree or disagree based on their convictions, as opposed to agreeing or disagreeing as a means of interaction.

I guess this puts the conflict and disagreement front and center. But at least then I know where people stand.

Perhaps it’s important to not take opinions too personally, and remember that incencere agreement has its own problems.

I don’t think it’s the format. Forums generally get toxic when they’re too big. The negative influence of a toxic user is much greater than the positive influence of a non-toxic user. The bigger the user base the more toxic users. Eventually it gets to a critical mass where you’re seeing enough toxic replies to make the whole platform seem toxic.

Reddit is 18 years old. Lots of time to attract toxic users. I wasn’t on Reddit from the start, but people have said Reddit didn’t suffer toxicity until after it was around 10 years old. Lemmy is four years old now so it will be a while. Though Lemmy may attract a smaller less toxic crowd and avoid toxicity indefinitely.

I don’t have a high opinion of community at Stack Overflow as it started out elitist by nature of its policies and rules. Yeah that’s going to breed toxicity right out of the gate. I have to admit Stack Overflow has been a really good resource for technical information at times, but its community is harsh. As much as I’ve used it to find good technical information, I’ve never made an account there or had any desire to post there.

Just post what you want to post and ignore the votes. A few downvotes is to be expected. Try not to read into them so much.

Personally core belief that people create and breed the toxicity. Use any system you want if people behave toxic it will become toxic.

Not necessarily toxicity, but echo chambers. Echo chambers could then be used to be toxic.

“Toxicity” is just like “racism”, newspeak to censor and bully, if you need to mention it you are the one doing the harm

I’m not trying to be negative here with you - but anyone complaining about downvoted will often get another downvote from me. Say what you want to say, stand by your convictions, and don’t worry about what the internet thinks about that.