I’m going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that’s part of my problem.

But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?

  • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.mlEnglish
    182·
    1 year ago

    Just to add to all of this …

    College/university, for some, is an overrated and over-hyped “life event” that doesn’t exist apart from in marketing land.

    The relatively special thing about it is that it’s probably the last stage in your life where you’re forced through this process with a whole bunch of people together all at once. That means that social opportunities exist. But those opportunities aren’t necessarily attractive to everybody, especially if you actually have intellectual/educational goals in mind. I learnt pretty early on that I actually didn’t connect with as many as I thought I would despite plenty of social activity and despite the specific filtration that happens in taking a degree after high school. Just because you’re all the same age in the same degree doesn’t mean that you have that much in common. The super rich social life event is a pitch but not a reality for everyone.

    I’d bet that you could do with a slightly healthier social life that suits you and isn’t concerned with meeting the expectations of what college is for, but that you should feel good about having gotten your grades and hopefully a useful degree that resonates with you and your interests. Take that, leave college behind, and make the most of the actual real world that’s about to open up for you.

    Me, personally … I look back on college/university and think the whole thing is mostly a waste of time. Whatever education we want or need as a society can now be delivered better (IMO) with less hassle and in a way that’s actually integrated into our experience of and life within the real world. The more I think about it, the whole thing really does feel like a strangely distasteful mix of an aristocratic medieval idea of graduating into adulthood and isolating prestigious academics with modern capitalism and industrial complexes (in this case the education industrial complex).

    • masterspace@lemmy.caEnglish
      33·
      1 year ago

      The more I think about it, the whole thing really does feel like a strangely distasteful mix of an aristocratic medieval idea of graduating into adulthood and isolating prestigious academics with modern capitalism and industrial complexes (in this case the education industrial complex).

      Yeah, cause like OP you spent college min/maxing grades instead of holistically enjoying yourself.

      For many it’s a chance to break away from their parents and discover who they are and what they want out of life in an idealistic setting; they get to be very close to all their friends and their only concerns are learning and thinking about how to best to live. For many it is the one brief period of adulthood free from the capitalistic drives of modern society that they’ll ever get to experience.

      It’s telling that almost every major company that gets successful and prioritizes attracting employees ends up building a * campus*, to mimic the university experience.

      • maegul (he/they)@lemmy.mlEnglish
        61·
        1 year ago

        Yeah, cause like OP you spent college min/maxing grades instead of holistically enjoying yourself.

        I wouldn’t presume to know what I did at University, in part because you’re wrong, but also that’s just very rude of you.

        You make good points. Some responses.

        • I’m also critical of the sparse and exploitative capitalistic world adults are thrust into. Things like campuses are basically public spaces and can exist without needing to be a student and can be enjoyed by people if they’re not exhausted from their job.
        • I think it’s idealistic to think college is a place where you can work out who you are. I think that’s an ongoing and a shifting target. I also think the isolated and idealistic setting can undermine the goal. As can the conflation with the pressure of establishing one’s future career (some need and struggle to get those grades for instance).
          • It’s this ideology I criticised in my prior post. Life is long and complex these days, I don’t think this idea of maturing in the crucible of University to forever be prepared for the rest of your life makes sense. A crucible of self discovery and exploration is a good thing, but that’s where my point of integrating such practices into everyday life continually over one’s life comes in.
          • Taking this further … what if someone doesn’t fit into this process or world view of idealistic college then capitalistic exploitation/drudgery? How would they discover this about themselves in this system? I’d argue they’d struggle and instead, as with the parent post, internalise any difficulties as due to their own failings, as the whole system is premised on measuring an individual’s performance and value, whether it be social or academic (and for the sake of a bit of tit-for-tar … I’m betting you have decent social networks both through your family and social skills and have always leveraged them to some extent in your livelihood, which is to say the system worked for you … genuinely curious about this).
        • Once can break away from one’s parents in plenty of other ways. Employment, a salary, living in one’s own home with their own finances can be very empowering especially compared to the weirdly impoverished conditions students are expected to enjoy.