Nostalgia is really interesting in that it’s inherently bittersweet. It’s nice because it grounds us in a shared timeline and focuses on mostly positive aspects of some past point in time, but it’s also sad because it means thinking back fondly on a time that will never be again.
So maybe it’s the bitter half of that bittersweet feeling that you’re subconsciously averse to? Either that or maybe your past/childhood was mostly negative or even traumatic? I’m no psychologist, so really I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Rather than jump to “trauma” here (and believe me, I say this as a person with PTSD), could you elaborate on what you mean by “fear”?
Interesting. I LOVE the feeling of nostalgia. It brings me back to a simpler and more peaceful time, when adult responsibilities and modern complexities didn’t exist yet. Whenever a late 90s/early 2000’s R&B song comes on, I’m automatically transported back in time and just relish in its bliss.
I have similar feelings and I was raised in a very controlling home. It took me years to realize the environment I grew up in wasn’t healthy, because that was my “normal”. It could be the same for you, but only you and/or a mental health professional could say for sure.
Yeah this. I have cptsd and so I’ll often want to remember and celebrate some of the beautiful parts of my past but there’s definitely this bittersweet nature there of the fear and discomfort that was present and the trauma that resulted.
Because remembering ‘what was’ leads to contemplation on ‘what could have been’, which often makes us regret ‘what is’. It is this regret which we most fear. It is essentially a fear of having missed out. Since Lemmy seems to be going classic memes, imagine the Bad News Bear meme saying, “it only gets worse with age.” Seriously. It sucks.
Trauma
This was my first thought. I know for me when I found myself feeling uncomfortable when an old song played on the radio or friends talked about past memories. Turns out I had a shit ton of unrecognized/unresolved trauma from my childhood that resulted in CPTSD.
Because they mark the inevitable passage of time.
Trama?
You mean feel?
Many of us fear feeling too deeply. I’d guess that is why so many of us escape into things that take us away from reality: soap operas/entertainment TV; drugs, alcohol, other addictions such as promiscuous sex that could hurt us, gambling, compulsive shopping that ruins our finances, etc. An online friend introduced me to vippassanna and sent me a wonderful poetic one-page article about it (lost it) and that helped a lot. Taoism and stoicism has similar teachings or thinking. It helps.
