You can just search terms right within Element to find public “rooms” (like a Discord Server). There’s rooms for all kinds of things. There are private rooms, too, but someone in the room would have to send you a link to it.

I love the Element client for Matrix. I use it with my friends and I have joined a lot of communities on there. It’s Discord-like, but I personally find it much easier to navigate than Discord. It’s free, open source, decentralized, you can self-host if that’s your jam, it’s got some solid security and usability features, call quality is great, and I’ve found it to be very stable and reliable. I’m a little biased because I personally don’t like Discord, I find the UI clunky and unpleasant to use, but I love using Element. If you love Discord, you will find Element familiar, but you may or may not appreciate the differences.

Dantotsu, hands down, imo. Great UI, lots of extensions and configurability but simple to use.

The joke is that all the adventures Mario has in the games are just escapist dreams, because he’s actually just a normal plumber who is sad and unfulfilled by his life.

Yeah, I knew it was bad when Loki, a show I really liked, dropped it’s second season and I just didn’t even care. I’m sure it’s solid, I just still haven’t seen it. It sucks because the MCU was like “my thing” that I was super into for a really long time. I geeked so hard over it. I still haven’t seen Echo, either, or the last couple movies. It’s a bummer.

Wait wait wait. She’s a scientist… antivaxxer? 0.o

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There are some really awesome mods for it, too. It def sets a high bar for FOSS game quality.

These are all great games. I’m surprised not to see some of the heaviest hitters, like 0 A.D., Beyond All Reason, Xonotic, or Veloren.

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Motorola Razr babyyyyy

Chicken soup, plain white rice, buttered toast, peanut butter, and crackers are all things I can usually tolerate when I feel that way. Sometimes banana or vanilla yogurt. I hope you feel better soon!

I understand the frusteration–I know it feels like an unrealistic suggestion. But I think it’s important to question whether a more general understanding of ADHD could help? Like if people knew that, because you have ADHD, forgetting a date or something is not a sign that you don’t care about them as it’s out of your control. Maybe people in your life could learn how you express that they are important to you. They could learn to appreciate you for who you are and forgive you for who you are not. I know, for me, I greatly appreciate when someone remembers my birthday or an important date, but I don’t hold it against them when they don’t/can’t.

That’s what I mean. It’s not reasonable to expect us to conform to every societal expectation when we literally can’t, especially when others might have more flexibility to meet us where we are (or even in the middle) and don’t currently put in that effort a lot of the time. People could be more aware and compassionate of our condition, just as they won’t be mad of someone with a walker can’t help them move. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to help or that they don’t care, they just don’t have the mobility. People understand that, so why couldn’t they understand us, too?

So first off, on a personal note, I just wanna take a second and acknowledge that it sounds like you’re really “in it.” You’re feeling the familiar frustration, and the shame. That little voice in the back of your head that whispers, “I’m not enough” is loud and clear right now. It sounds like you’ve had a lot going on, maybe you’re burntout, and you’re sick of feeling like a failure? All of that is totally valid, and it makes sense why you’d feel that way given the lifetime of negative reinforcement you’ve received, the recent diagnosis, and all the pressure to just be able to do what others can. I think most of us here, especially those of us that were also diagnosed as adults, can relate to those feelings in a big way. I know I can. I’m really sorry that you’re going through that. :(

On a discussion-oriented note, generally speaking, I think it’s important to be able to see ADHD holistically. It is a debilitating disability and it is comorbid with some really awesome/interesting qualities. It is not a superpower, but it is also not all bad, either; it’s not just one thing, it’s a whole-ass neurotype that comes with all the quirks and kinks any other brain has.

Your experience might be that you don’t believe the trade-off is worth it, and you know, most days I would agree with you. I think most people here would. The truth is, though, it’s really no better or worse than any other brain in terms of being a good, functional brain. ADHD is not an illness. We are only disabled insofar as society is disabling to us. The world was not built for us, and until we make some more equitable, systemic changes, we will continue to struggle. Just as modern buildings need to include wheelchair ramps and wider doorframes for people with walking aids, the future of society needs to include us in its design. We need accommodation to be able to thrive, and under the right conditions, it would not at all be out of the question.

None of this is meant to absolve us of accountability or responsibility, and it’s not to say that nothing is really our fault, or that the pain we experience isn’t valid. I just mean to say that we spend a lot of time beating ourselves up and commiseratting getting beat down by the world, which is completely understandable, but is there a different conversation that might be more beneficial to us? How can we educate our bosses and teachers and parents about us? How do we make sure that kids are being appropriately diagnosed, and that girls and children of color get diagnosed, as well? What could an ADHD/Autism-friendly work environment look like? What about ADHD/Autism-friendly supermarkets? How can we change stigma, expectations, and our environments to be better? Don’t we deserve better? Yes, having ADHD sucks as it stands, but does it have to?

That’s just my 2¢, anyway.

Slay.

My name? Uh… Normal… Man?!