Blow_Me

We demand one weekend day for each realm.

Competency. Resume said it has a nice smooth ball and socket.

X-ray says hella arthritis.

Lying piece of shit.

Contrary to popular belief, hips do lie.

Crap mushle flop!

Try our new mashed rice and marshmallow recipe - goes down smooth with no chewing needed!!

“We’ll cross that water when it’s under the bridge.”

That is by far the laziest take on any variation on that saying I’ve heard so far. 10/10, fuckin’ love it. Just a straight up “we’ll do nothing until the problem comes to us”.

Adding this one to the noggin file.

I’m here to kick ass and take names, and I’m all out of ass!

*clicks pen*

Names, please…

Light a man a fire and you warm him for a night. Set a man on fire and you warm him for the rest of his life!

Someone who lives on a ship should sink the white house.

*checks ocean temps and pH…*