Jikal

“Would you like to sign up for our awful credit card?” Nah. “Would you like to sign up for a free trial of our plus service that you’ll never use?” No thanks. “Do you want the X month protection plan for your USB drive that’s 10x the cost of what you’re paying today?” What? No. “Would you like to donate to this charity the company totally could but won’t but say we raised all this money for?” Nope.

No-bake cookies with Splenda instead of sugar. My wife made some and they turned out looking amazing, but had the taste of Bitrex. Absolutely foul.

5 Watt laser pointer and etch dicks onto every wooden surface I see

Tuning to G4 and there’s a 90% chance it’s either COPS or Cheaters

And you could tell from the sound if it was gonna connect at a good rate too

I’m in my 40s and married with a kid and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m winging it. We’re all just that same little kid we were but in an adult body trying to figure out the world. I did get called sir by a younger co-worker and I made them swear to never say it again. Just call me dude or something lol

Orc: “Y’all lil fellers in the wrong gotdam place I reckon. You boys jus’ git on up in them rocks and take them panties right off.”

They just need to add commercials for Premium that have horns or police sirens and they’ll be all set

I finally bit the bullet and switched from Chrome to Firefox last night after they flagged my adblock for YouTube as malware and forcefully disabled it. Fuck that noise.

I saw a pic that supposedly said “egg fried rice”. I wouldn’t even be mad

I’ve been using this one and its been working well so far

MSG and truffle oil with a splash of hazelnut spread

It’s hard for me to be straight up rude to people, but I will make things generally more difficult and take longer than necessary. I make it a game to see how long I can keep a person talking. It’s amazing how a few simple “Oh, really?” and “Dang, that’s crazy” will keep someone on the hook.

EverQuest. I damn near flunked high school from all the binge sessions. The last time I logged in it was well over a year /played. Waiting on random spawn timers was wild.

Good choice. I live in the rural midwest and the only thing that’ll reach (even though we’re in the flatlands) is a WISP we pay $170 a month for 12/6. No data caps, but it’s slow as shit. At least it’s not satellite so we can still play games online fairly reliably but damn.

Center because it’s strong enough to get the crust off, yet sensitive enough to not break through the skin.

Majestic.

“I’m Duke Nukem, and I’m coming to get the rest of you alien bastards!”