Monkeys aren’t stupid enough to eat snails

Please note that I do not know if this is actually true

semi-gloss

Oh my fucking god the word is “satin” are you fucking insane that’s it I’m staying at my mum’s tonight

Leaks

*Adverts

Huge amounts of low quality websites being posted here now. I’ve never heard of Mint Press news so I looked them up -

Detailed Report

Reasoning: Propaganda, Conspiracies, Pseudoscience, Poor Sources, Failed Fact Checks

Bias Rating: FAR LEFT (-9.1)

Factual Reporting: LOW (7.8)

Country: USA

MBFC’s Country Freedom Rank: MOSTLY FREE

Media Type: Website Traffic/Popularity: Medium Traffic

MBFC Credibility Rating: LOW CREDIBILITY

Edit - ha ha didn’t realise it was .ml 😂

I thought I blocked you spastics

I’m about halfway through The Turnglass by Gareth Rubin

Really not the sort of thing I’d normally read but I’m finding it very engrossing. Would recommend

Yeah it’s ok, we know what you mean!

Showers have a rail that you slide the head up and down on until you’re satisfied and now I’m partially erect. What were we talking about?

Ah yes, OP is a phony

It’s only in the US that shower heads are fixed to the wall btw 🧐🧐

In your *flat then? 🧐

Is “crankin ma hawg” a cheeky wank or not?

Legend

Same, I’ve had that Hotmail account for almost 25 years, I’m not sorting that out 😂

They’re great for account emails

Yanks trying to make up compound insults is, and apologies for using the word, cringe as fuck

Found some spoonerisms for folk that don’t know what it is -

Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (while giving a toast at a dinner, which Queen Victoria was also attending)[15]

“Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?” (as opposed to “customary to kiss”)[15]

“The Lord is a shoving leopard.” (instead of “a loving shepherd”)[15]

“A blushing crow.” (“crushing blow”)[15]

“A well-boiled icicle” (“well-oiled bicycle”)[15]

“You were fighting a liar in the quadrangle.” (“lighting a fire”)[15]

“Is the bean dizzy?” (“Dean busy”)[15]

“Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet.” (“Someone is occupying my pew. Please show me to another seat.”)[15]

“You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain.” (“You have missed all my history lectures. You have wasted a whole term. Please leave Oxford on the next down train.”)[15]

Spotted this week. Every available space was just baguette

Interestingly, there are so many whole amphorae because whenever there was an earthquake or eruption, people would put their amphorae under an arched window or doorway, as they were the strongest parts of their houses, and less likely to collapse onto their amphora full of food

Christ on a bike, imagine finding out Goebbels used your methods to murder millions, and you still didn’t realise that you’re a cunt 😬

Funny you should mention it, I just added this to my to-read list

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/127282939-beautyland?from_choice=true

Seed, you cunts!

Where I am, we have “Post Office approved” locks, cam locks for your post box that can be opened with your key plus a special key that the postie has, in case they have a parcel that won’t go in the slot.

Yes, you can get one of the special keys if you know where to look

No, it isn’t a problem because we’re not a bunch of fucking savages 😂