That’s not a “never”

I know you’re joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

I love the voice change, it makes it sound like it’s saying the item with massive air quotes so suddenly everything sounds like a euphemism for something terrible

This is top-tier, well done

I want more of this guy

It’s my new ringtone is what it is

Dude, I’m literally just saying it’s wrong to generalize an entire people as a “cancer.” If you seriously can’t see the reason in that, I honestly don’t know what else to say.

I’m not pro-Russia by any means but this is some extremely troubling rhetoric

I would imagine it’s at gunpoint, figuratively or literally.

“This thing seems to be true.”

“Actually, this thing doesn’t seem to be true, and here’s why.”

“So you don’t want this thing to be true, then??”

Maybe now you can see how ridiculous you sound here.

Alternate title: Find someone who can sit on your face

See a doctor

I think you’re confusing civilization with utopia

Well you didn’t think that sling was just made of out any old leather, did you?

My coworker flips his shit every time I include a ternary operator in a PR. He also insists on refactoring any block of code longer than two lines into its own function, even when it’s only used once.

He is not well liked.

An internal browser is a good idea, but in the interim, this problem can be solved by changing your default browser/app settings. You should be able to make it so that any link automatically opens in Firefox, or make it so that clicking on YouTube links prompts you to select which app you’d like to open the link with. Not sure what type of device you’re working with, but on Android you can change these settings by going to Settings > Apps > (insert app name here) and looking under the “Defaults” header.

🎵 Do you wanna rob a pet shoooop?

Come on, let’s go get paaaaaid 🎶

My favorites are flesh fries

Get weird about that thing you’re weird about

I want this cross stitched over my mantelpiece

“You’re running from me, now”