Nice to hear Florida Man has a voice. You, sir are a legend :)

In my country you cant Sue, only complain. But you complain to the instance you complain about. Eg police is handling complaints about the police. Besides that. For most people sueing isnt something you just do

American tears, so salty right now

Orcas rely on the salt in the water to keep their skin healthy. If they stay too long even fresh water they will succumb to infections. Other types of dolphins seems to be able to adjust a little better to shifting amounts of salt in the water. I have no clue about the larger whales but I suspect they have problems with fresh water because they wont float as easy in it.

The traditional scandinavian punishment for being a delicious moose is getting soaked in beer, covered in bacon and grilled slowly. Hope this helps.