Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?

The ones around here, everyone just slows down getting to that intersection, and then picks up speed again after crossing through

I am outraged at the lack of photo evidence of how Bucky drinks water

Seems to have been the right decision

The ol’ Lemmy-switch-a-roo?

Don’t disrespect the San Diego Chicken with comparisons to Trump

He goes by many names, and pronouns

About 15 years ago I went on a trip from San Diego to NY. We were staying in a shitty Days Inn in some some town. We left our luggage in the rooms, and went out for the day, and I had left my iPod nano in there. When we came back that evening, my iPod was gone and my package of brand new boxers was missing a pair also. I assumed they hid the iPod in the rolled up boxers. We went down to complain to the front desk but they didn’t give a shit. Lessons were learned that day. I was so excited to listen to Biggie “Going Back to Cali” on my way back to Cali and that’s what was REALLY stolen from me :(

Even my desktop motherboard has a USBC slot

The Olympics started?

I moved from US to Canada with a whole lot less lined up

Oh, it’s about me.

Wait no I’m 37, fuck

Nah man, he’s an idiot. Can’t believe he said that.

Everybody knows if you say your wish out loud it doesn’t come true!

The top two

Right after he cleaned his shoes:

He didn’t die, he just thought he was dead

The funny thing about my chin, Jules, is that it’s located on my cock!

Why didn’t he do that when i asked to wake up to a room full of new Lego sets

Same. Still haven’t learned how to style it but it’s still better than the face I had before

That’s your jobs fault?