If you follow avherald.com for any length of time, you’ll learn that 1) the vast majority of aviation incidents are completely benign, and 2) the vast majority of injuries aboard airliners are caused by passengers not wearing their seatbelts. The seatbelts aren’t there for the once-a-decade crash; they’re there for the once-a-month strong turbulence event, which the airplane itself will barely even notice.

My man grew that gross-ass soul patch just to reinforce his findings.

Mostly because the rocks are very stupid and will misunderstand your instructions at first opportunity. Kinda like Amelia Bedilia.

Looks like he has some Austrian tupperware in the other hand, so maybe he brought his grandpappy’s .45AARP service pistol for show and tell that day?

Biblically accurate hotdog

At first I thought “no, but I’ll read the comments. Maybe it’ll help me understand my fellow man.” Then the top comment was ADHD and I was like, " oh yeah I do have that lol."

I have a motto I operate by at work: “if it’s really important, they’ll ask twice.”