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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • Yesterday I went to this “fancy” Italian restaurant for my birthday with family and our waitress upon finding out it was my birthday said “oh, it’s your birthday? Well, why don’t you look happy about it?”

    I was like… uh… I am? Then shrugged it off because maybe I didn’t understand the question, like maybe I misheard her. Then I brought it up to my wife at night and she was like “yeahhh… I’m not sure why she said that”. But like, if you say that to someone… that makes them feel more uncomfortable… even if it’s a joke. Like we were only sitting there for 5 minutes and hadn’t even ordered yet and I hadn’t eaten since 10 o’clock in the morning, so of course I’m going to be mildly irritated, but unhappy? Fuckin bitch…








  • I’m very accustomed to trying to do this because I remember everyone I’ve wronged and think about things in my past a lot.

    I’ve realized however that apologizing doesn’t mean that the person you’ve wronged because of an instance they’ve wronged you before will ever change how they treat you. Even if you two were best friends. I had a very toxic friend in highschool who never owned up to something he did to me and I never really got over it. Instead of moving on I fought back, but looking back I can at least acknowledge he is a narcissist and never wanted me to be happy in the first place. I wronged him by letting my emotions take over, but he was oblivious to the pain he put me or anybody else through. It’s that mantra that keeps me from wanting to fight him again even if it’s been years and years. I want to get over it and I think I can with enough change in my life but God damn I never thought I’d feel that kind of rage.