“Ask meany thing”?

What are thooooooooose???

Half of these people look like they’re being possessed by Richard Nixon’s ghost

Nuh-uh! Americans can’t be terrorists cuz Americans kill the terrorist, like Malcolm X and Jamal Khashoggi… Wait, are we the bad guys?

Aren’t they using red flags to find their top picks?

Caw! Caw!

Oh sorry, I meant “Caca! Their argument is caca!”

Emperor Trump has a quiz for you dissidents: does this napkin smell like novichok? Answer honestly, you peasant.

Fantastic username, Ace

Stop it!

Okay, now do it some more…

Shut up! Quit using up all the rich people’s free speech

I STILL JUST SHAT IN A CAVE

I don’t care how they’re picked, you generally shouldn’t feed peppers and spices that you’d use in chili. And never onions, garlic, or grapes regardless of the intended application.

These rules come from the same people who put a slice of cheese on apple pie. “It adds a savory quality to all the sweetness.” Fuck off, it adds the taste of cheese to apple pie. People also like mint and chocolate, maybe you should eat some M&Ms coated in Vicks vaporub

Chili is steaming dog food with too many spices and onions for dogs to eat. If you think your chili tastes better with beans or even cinnamon, then get down with your bad self. Anyone who tells you otherwise is welcome to not eat your chili.

“Syrup doesn’t belong on waffles/french toast”
“Cookies shouldn’t have raisins”
“You shouldn’t put butter on your tortillas”
Fuck all y’all, I’mma eat my food how it tastes good and you can maybe chime in once you got a show on the food network

^I’m a Texan who will eat your chili with or without beans and I approve this message^

“Mission accomplished” 🛩️🪂🛳️

What was that greatest trick that the devil pulled again? Oh well, I’m sure those are unrelated thoughts.

He’d execute Hunter before pardoning him. Unless Hunter or J6ers are willing to cough up enough dough to buy a pardon, they’re gonna get ignored and rot in a cell. Maybe Epstein themselves.

Official act?

Bernie is one of the few remaining politicians in our country who are in politics as a service vs a career. I wouldn’t be surprised if after every time he gets elected he consoles himself, “this’ll be the last time you need to run, this is the cycle where we’ll fix American politics and you can go back to your dream of opening an ice cream shop.”

Hahaha! I totally misread that! Yes, if you don’t have it stored in three places, you don’t have it.

I choose to believe that you conceived and birthed your son via parthenogenesis. Based on my belief, please entertain us with the story of the romantic night during which you impregnated yourself.

I fucking love you. Thanks for giving me a nice laugh before turning in for the night.