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Cake day: June 29th, 2023

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  • theneverfox@pawb.socialtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.worldadvise needed
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    36 minutes ago

    First, you have to decide who you want to be and what you want out of life. You can have anything, but not everything, if you pursue it without stopping

    Don’t take on debt.

    Don’t get into a relationship with a manipulator.

    Be honest in your dealings. Don’t take advantage of people or profit off suffering

    Follow that, and you have 10 years to figure out everything else. 20’s are for learning, 30’s are for earning… Just try stuff. Pursue whatever you like, make connections with people, and you’ll build a foundation that will put you far ahead later on

    And if you do want to try doing a software start up, I am looking for someone to partner with who can make sales. I’m planning to go after professionals like lawyers and start by making them websites to make the connection, and taking whatever work flows from that. Hit me up if you’re interested



  • You’ve just internalized the problem and called it normal. You shouldn’t need to be different around different people. That’s exhausting and most people don’t do that. That’s the neurodivergent coping mechanism.

    No, literally every human being does do this, whether they’re aware of it or not. We are very social species that is extremely sensitive to the group we’re in and the social context. From the most neurotypical normie to entirely nonverbal autistic people, we all have different sides

    Do you think people are masking when you bring a dog or a baby into a room and they act differently? Is it masking to act professionally at work? Do you think you really act the same with your friends and grandparents?

    You keep dancing around the core of this - the discomfort from modulating your behavior in ways you don’t want to is what masking is. That’s the part that’s exhausting

    I haven’t internalized a defense mechanism, I got rid of the discomfort. I’ve decided I’m often comfortable with silence (even if others aren’t) and made peace with the fact people will misunderstand me often and stopped letting that drive my interactions

    I also code switch hard and mirror people’s speech patterns… But that’s not a defense mechanism, that’s just how I prefer to interact with the world. I like that I can fit in pretty much anywhere I want to be, it’s easy and natural for me

    That’s what it means to stop masking. You don’t change as a person, you learn to express yourself in a way that isn’t exhausting



  • I agree with all that, and it is certainly both a distraction and class warfare, no doubt

    My only point of contention is that it’s not a step in a process of class warfare, it is a tool of class warfare

    But after you clarified I think that might just be a matter of phrasing

    Also, while the system is set up against us, there’s reason for hope. Progressives are coming out of the woodwork and snatching up elections, especially locally. Things could change for the better

    But even aside from that - I don’t mean self interest is going to magically win the day. What I mean is that personal suffering causes unrest

    You can form a coalition of hatred short term, we’ve seen that people will even hang onto that while the leapords are actively eating their face

    The hatred might not go away, but the unity goes out the window the second people can’t get their favorite brand of Oreo (or lose their livelihoods)


  • You could possibly alter it with effort, but not as easily as a mask.

    That’s my point. A mask and a face are the same in nature. We all act differently around different people, everyone has different sides to themselves that are all real

    Every mask and face you have is a part of you. It’s not fake, it’s a layer of communication. If you don’t feel comfortable in it, it feels like a mask. That’s entirely what makes it a mask

    You have to examine it and figure out where it doesn’t fit right, and then wear it until the changes become ingrained behavior

    The final step is to accept you’re not wearing a mask anymore










  • I don’t think that’s quite right

    The racism isn’t a lead in for class-ism, it’s a distraction method. It’s an attempt to redraw the lines between “us” and “them” to create the appearance of a lower class

    They target susceptible groups specifically in order to convince people that the rest of us are all in the same class. It’s an attempt to convince people that if they have any advantage in life, they’re on the same team as the billionaires

    The distinction matters because it’s becoming less and less effective. Fascism has a short shelf life, because the solution it offers becomes an increasingly obvious lie. Material conditions become worse and worse until people can’t ignore their own problems anymore

    Hatred is a hell of a drug, but at some point all but the clinically mentally unwell care more about filling their stomachs than shitting on an imagined enemy


  • As in the money in the UK is not freely flowing through the real economy, the one where money has a healthy velocity (eg the same pound flows from the carpenter to the baker to the electrician to the cafe worker and leaves everyone involved enriched by goods and services)

    Instead, the lion share of the money is tied up in London playing games with math. It’s not even investments that create more economic activities… It’s just making money on paper

    It means that while the GDP looks good on paper, the velocity of money continues to drop and the real economy is being starved

    It’s also a severe problem in the US, but long story short, when the US economy pops the UK economy is going to also be thrown into chaos