What I meant was (and I was being a little humorous) that your normal type is the one you’d rationally want to like intellectually and emotionally and this dude is the one you.are physically attracted to. I was thinking you were crying over the men you wanted to be similarly physically attracted to and the strong emotional reaction was a result of your surprise at how intense the physical attraction could be.
It’s OK to have more than one type and be attracted to different people for different reasons. I think you have just discovered a new aspect of your own preferences and are trying to reconcile them.
I mean, killing someone isn’t going to bring their money back. Putin has his boyars thrown out of windows to send a message, that’s why it’s obvious.