• BassTurd@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    It’s not victim blaming to point out that suicide is a selfish act that has living victims. Like I said, it’s sad, but the reality is that when Chester killed himself, the band, his family, and those others closest to him were abondoned.

    I’ve never been in the position Chester was in, and I don’t fault him for ending his pain, because as I mentioned, I can empathize with the situation, but he’s not the only victim.

    • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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      3 months ago

      You have absolutely not a single fucking clue about how it is to be suicidal if you truly believe this garbage.

      • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        You’re making an awful lot of assumptions about something you don’t know any fucking thing about. You have no idea the shit that has gone through my mind and the demons that I’ve faced. You have to be completely ignorant to not see that others are affected by suicide, that they are victims all the same, but the difference is that they have to keep on living with it.

        You don’t think that Mike or anyone else had to sit there and live with survivors guilt, or wonder what they could have done to help him? Or his wife left with kids to raise all on her own, you don’t think that it’s selfish of him to leave them all high and dry? Fuck that. Maybe in your magic bubble where there aren’t consequences for actions, but not in the real world.

        • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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          3 months ago

          No, they neither have to live with it, nor is it selfish not to be able to carry that burden, nor is it their fault for having to go through this. Do you think the same shit about people who suffer physically? People with late stage cancer? Should they not decide for themselves at which point their life is not worth living anymore? Chester didn’t leave because he was selfish, he left because that was the only way for him to end his pain and suffering, and you’re blaming him for that - and everyone else who goes or went through similar trauma. You’re fucking disgusting, just like the band.

          • felixwhynot@lemmy.worldM
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            3 months ago

            I’m not removing this comment bc I think the discussion about suicide has some merits but please stop with the name calling and review the community guidelines. Thanks

          • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
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            3 months ago

            Username checks out?

            It was somewhat selfish when you are in the situation Chester was in, and it’s psychological. He had a responsibility to fight that demon for his wife, kids, and family.

            It was not his fault he had the demon to begin with at all, and it wasn’t completely selfish. We aren’t responsible for the mental ailments we are born with, but we are responsible to work on them and not cause others to suffer because of them. Chester had all the resources in the world to fight that battle.

            I still completely empathize with the amount of pain he must’ve been in to make that decision, but I don’t absolve him of all responsibility from it. I don’t hate him or think he was a bad person for it at all, though. I very much hope he rests peacefully and his family can heal.

            I think people with late stage cancer and people who suffer from severe physical pain are a different conversation, entirely.

            • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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              3 months ago

              Chester had all the resources in the world to fight that battle.

              So do many cancer patients, but you’d probably not say they’re selfish for losing that battle with their illness either. They’re suicide victims, not suicide perpetrators. That’s also why people call for not calling it “killing yourself”.

              I think people with late stage cancer and people who suffer from severe physical pain are a different conversation, entirely.

              And that’s why this stigma still exists. Depression is an illness, and suicide is the last stage of succumbing to it. But we can go with other examples as well if you want to. There was this guy a few years ago IIRC who was under chronic pain, due to a rare condition. He was very much fully functional in a sense, just constantly suffering. He was still fairly young, I think in his 30s and tried for a long time to get assisted suicide without success (until he did, IIRC in another country). He had friends and family too, like most people, but he decided a long time ago that life was not worth living under the circumstances he was in. Do you think that is selfish too?

              Can you even relate to any of those circumstances at all? Like, suicide is not something even a suicidal person does lightly. It’s a big and difficult step to take - even if you’re completely alone. But to take this step for someone who had a loving family and kids simply means that their suffering was still stronger, it still outweigh whatever brief moments of happiness they could feel, and whatever “responsibility” they had to their family. Speaking of which, you don’t see it that way, as you see yourself as a burden - and to an extend that’s what you are, even if people don’t like to talk about it. But the longer you’re sick, the more people will resent you for it. That’s an unfortunate truth as well that people have to understand. The people around you, are people you ultimately drag down into the abyss with you if you’re not able to get out of it. It’s in most cases just a matter of time, and it’s a crushing matter for someone who’s already down.

              • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
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                3 months ago

                life was not worth living under the circumstances he was in. Do you think that is selfish too?

                No I think it’s kind of different for physical pain, especially incurable.

                I have suffered with depression all of my life. If I didn’t have responsibilities like a family, pets, etc. I probably wouldn’t be here today. I’m not saying I’m better than Chester, nor am I saying that I was at the same level of suffering he was.

                I feel a lot of sympathy for him, and don’t think he was weak for it or anything. I do think that he abandoned his responsibilities, though. That’s all. No hate or disdain here. I feel for everyone involved. You seem like a good and empathetic person, FWIW. I just disagree a tad bit, that’s all.

                • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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                  3 months ago

                  No I think it’s kind of different for physical pain, especially incurable.

                  Yes, that’s bigotry and the cause for this stigma regarding mental illness.

                  • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works
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                    3 months ago

                    Its not bigotry. I feel like there are many many kinds of treatment for depression and they all should be exhausted first, especially in his situation. I would be okay with euthanasia if everything was tried, and if the person at least would have made a plan with a medical professional and family. Just like they would do in places where euthanasia for chronic pain is legal. I would be open to that idea. I just think there is a difference between suicide and euthanasia, I guess.

                    Also, don’t get me wrong, Chester was very much a victim of his illness, and stigma around mental health is real. Stating the fact that he had a responsibility to his family doesn’t contribute to that, though.