Sorry if this is the wrong place, I just really need to vent somewhere.
I had a followup today to discuss the next steps since neither guanfacine nor atomoxetine worked out. I’ve been waiting for this because I know stimulants are the first line treatment and I’ve had nothing but awful experiences with the other meds. He had me take a drug test ahead of time - to make sure I wasn’t already taking stimulants, he said. I’ve been open about everything I’m on and he said it would be fine. That was a lie.
I tested positive for a bit of weed, which I told him about. It’s legal in my state. Despite saying it was fine before (I asked, specifically), now he changed his tune and said he’s going to keep testing me and if I test positive three times he won’t prescribe me any stimulants.
The kicker? I even have a prescription for it, because I worry about exactly things like this. It’s for chronic pain, but tbh helps my depression and anxiety too. I don’t even use much - about $150 in edibles over the last year. But if I spent that much on alcohol every weekend, that would be no barrier to getting a prescription.
I went in for help and was nothing but honest, and I left feeling attacked over prescription medicine that’s been helping me. What the fuck. I’m so frustrated and angry I just want to cry. Why is it so hard to get help?
The treatment gauntlet is brutal. I’ve done illegal drugs before, but now I just microdose mushrooms in addition to my prescribed stims, which were legal the last place I lived, where my psyche knew about and okay’d it, but not here. They wanted me to come to the hospital daily to get my meds and take weekly piss tests. I average about one alcoholic drink a week, so it’s fucking ridiculous knowing people who get wasted three times a week who have no problems getting meds.
It’s hard to get help because medical doctors are just people who won the birth lottery for financial stability and they’re skilled at rote memorization. They don’t have to be smart or better than average at their jobs.
wtf, meds by the day and weekly piss tests? Damn that’s brutal. Is it because of where you live or do they know about your drug history and just treat you like shit because of that?
That’s what really gets me: they’ll vilify someone using a harmless medicine in moderation for treatment purposes, but completely overlook people who get totally fucked up on alcohol on the regular. It’s so backwards. I avoided weed for decades until it was prescribed to me because “drugs are bad” and it didn’t take long after trying it to figure out what a ridiculous lie that is. Not all drugs are equal, and alcohol is worse than at least a few.