Throw away account obviously but I’m sitting here, on a Friday night alone. I recently split off with my fiancee of 2 years, we were supposed to be wed in a few months. Shes off partying and living life up, and I’m happy for her. We still live together for the time being before our lease ends. This is exactly how my previous relationship ended. Ironic. She has a social circle to support her.
Well, throughout the course of 5 years, I have slowly burned many bridges of friends and over the course of 10 years, have destroyed many women’s perception of trust. The list goes on. My regret and guilt is an all time high.
On top of this, my family doesn’t really know the real me. I have such a hard time making connections with them and others at this point of my life.
I am seeking to rectify the entire situation by trying some therapeutic techniques. AMA.
I’m pretty similar and started going to psychiatrist who thinks I’m bipolar 2 which is a more mild mood instability so put me on a mood stabilizer. Only been like 6 weeks so tbd if it’s working yet. Ive also cut out drugs and binge drinking and also shifted friends accordingly as i realized a lot of my life was spent with superficial friends that are all about the next party etc
Good luck to you and your journey. I was on a few different classes of mood stabilizers and even anti depressants. Decided after years that they just didn’t work out, unless I actively engaged in positive change as well. I resorted to teaching myself DBT techniques and they have been somewhat helpful. I would also benefit from seeing a DBT therapist specialist if one was ever offered but there seems to be none in my area willing to take new patients with my insurance.
Im proud of you for cutting out drugs, they are certainly fun but be wary, the fun doesn’t last forever and it comes with a heavy price. Just be aware is all. I’m sure you already are.
I actually realized the same way, and looking to grow into a social circle where it would benefit me to act more my age, ie entering my 30s and becoming more of a masculine man, financially responsible and physically on top of my game. I am regaining my confidence back and I’m slowly falling in love with myself again. It’s a challenge but, I’m glad you are also seeking new social circles that align with your current values. So happy for you friend. You’re on the right path.