I am not joking when I say that I thinked for hours about how do people find each other in 2025.
Currently, the world is in very weird state. People online are either using social video platforms or they are reading news or lurking in online forums in it’s different shapes and forms.
Most chat platforms that I know had shut down and most alt social platforms are almost dead. Even Hackernews had started to see a lower amount of comments compared to previous years.
I want a serious answer, how should I find people online to talk to about anything really other than politics?
I met someone on Reddit about 5 years ago whilst talking about making a smart mirror for fun. Ended up not making the mirror but did end up in a relationship from it. Was random, I had never exchanged dm’s with anyone before that.
For me WebFishing. Some time ago I played VRchat.
Discord is also good but lack of 3d avatars just doesn’t provide the feeling of socialisation.
play an MMO game. plenty of ways to break into friend groups there.
Seriously though the only places I’ve seen any kind of thriving community are invite-only private torrent tracker sites.
I have an IRL friend who always goes like "oh, sorry, its invite-only torrent (￣y▽,￣)╭ "
That’s lame, you’re only supposed to be inviting people you really know IRL anyway… Weak excuse from your friend, if you’re willing to seed.
Check out https://slowly.app/ - its a penpall service that simulates snail mail which makes for great connections! You can get a random pall or choose one explicitly and the community there is really wholesome.
In their terms of service, they share data with ad companies and marketers. But I can’t copy paste it here because JavaScript
Edit: grammar
I just quickly read through them, and it just sounded like the usual “we run as here”. Could you specify it a bit? Or take a screenshot of the relevant part?
You might be looking for this perhaps?
I can’t copy and paste the text from my phone, but under Privacy Policy > 4. When and with whom do we share your personal information?, it says the following in the first paragraph:
Vendors, Consultants, and Other Third-Party Service Providers. We may share your data with third-party vendors, service providers, contractors, or agents (‘third parties’) who perform services for us or on our behalf and require access to such information to do that work.
(Not verbatim…) It goes on to say the contracts are designed to safeguard personal information and can’t use any personal information without their permission. Third parties will not share personal information except with them and third parties commit to data protection they hold on their behalf and to retain it for the period they have been instructed.
Third parties information may be shared with:
- Ad Networks
- Data Analytics Services
- Payment Processors
- Performance Monitoring Tools
- Sales & Marketing Tools
- Testing Tools
- User Account Registration & Authentication Services
- Website Hosting Service Providers
- Cloud Computing Services
- Communication & Collaboration Tools
- Retargeting Platforms
- Social Networks
Additionally:
- During business transfers i.e. mergers, sale of assets, financing, acquisitions, negotiations
- When using Google maps platform APIs
- Other users: this seems to be mostly if you connect/interact via a social media platform like Facebook. It may be more nuanced than I understand.
i’m assuming it’s this part:
Look for sections about sharing data. In an attempt to copy paste it seems I banned JS from that site which made it fail to load the body content entirely.
Whatever you do, steer clear of meetup.com - all of their social activities on there now are scientologists thinly veiling their seminars as get-togethers.
That’s not true everywhere, my city has a pretty good meetup scene for various hobbies. However the amount of people who sell their useless courses as “meetup, but I will ask for a 20€ fee from everyone” or shady “we will talk about investing/crypto…” groups has gone up.
How does that even work lol
“What do you guys wanna do? Actually I know, let’s check out this building” “no you should really check out this building” “get in the fucking building”
“Guys I wanna leave”
“Okay but $50 and we will call your phone for eternity”
Here’s an example one: https://www.meetup.com/101-dating-relationships/events/307612236/
Videogames.
I posted on lemmy if anyone wanted to play games with me. Someone answered and we talk everyday since then, on most days we spend hours on video calls. Just try posting on whatever you use, you might find people you like.
Play on small game servers at the same time every day. Eventually youll start seeing the regulars and then its just a matter or trying to break into the friend group.
Outside of that you could try discord but its like wading through a sea of shit. If youre over 25 it will be very hard to find a group that doesnt eventually end up filled with kids or everyone has gotten on with their lives.
I want a serious answer, how should I find people online to talk to about anything really other than politics?
You don’t.
You don’t find people online (or IRL) waiting for strangers to start a discussion on some random topic you feel like talking about. Because people, unlike trolls, are busy with their live.
What you can find is people willing to discuss with someone they find interesting or, with any luck, intriguing on whatever topic you both are interested in.
So, what are you interested in? Have you any hobbies, interests, passions? Find small communities around those topics you’re interested in, and start posting. Do the work to show you’re there and that, maybe, you’re worth discussing with.
You really want online? I guess playing games, discord, vrchat.
My suggestion, do stuff IRL
Where are you going to meet people IRL? What are you, 12? IRL doesn’t have any groups that do anything remotely interesting, and it’s expensive asf to travel and those groups are nigh-undiscoverable. And don’t harass random strangers, you’re not gonna make many friends like that, unless you mean in prison.
tf? 🤨
Brother I’m a young adult, I’ll give you some suggestions. Basically any sport, hobby, interest you have you can meet people. I hope this helps you, maybe I’ll see you out there.
Sports
- Pickleball
- Tennis
- Running
- Skateboarding (I have a 30 yo friend that still skateboards)
- All other types of skating
- Surfing
- Golfing
- Rock climbing
- Swimming
Sporty-ish
- Bowling?
- Go kart racing (like k1 speed stuff like that)
Outdoorsy stuff
- Hiking
- Backpacking
- Fishing
More Expensive Hobbies
- Archery
- Scuba diving
idk how to classify this
- Arcade like dave and busters
- RC cars, planes, etc
- Geocaching (join us)
Not physical stuff
- Book club
- Model trains
Volunteering
- Feed the homeless
- Beach Cleanup (I do this monthly because if Geocaching meetip events)
Staying at home trying to find people
- Discord chatting communities
- Video game servers with chat (some times I do this in CS surf servers)
- Vrchat
I still dont get pickleball… But I do want a movie (think The Benchwarmers or Blades of Glory level of effort) set in the suburbs, styled like a LA gang-land film, where a bunch or retirees, HOA people and PTA parents fight over if the community center installs a racketball or pickleball court.
deleted by creator
Outdoorsy stuff
- Hiking
- Backpacking
- Fishing
Probably wouldn’t try to meet any women in these scenarios though, unless you’re a grizzly bear of course.
Also
- Arcade like dave and busters
(Had to make the joke lmao sorry)
One of my friends met his wife at a school hiking club.
+1 for hiking groups/clubs. It usually consists of lonely people who spend too much time inside, I made some friends that way.
Obviously, don’t suggest a hike to the deep forest with convenient lack of phone service and witnesses as a first date :)
You were talking about IRL, yet mention game servers and VRC? Wut?
I do appreciate the suggestions but I wasn’t asking for advice lol, I was debating your point. I have no trouble meeting people, but your way isn’t one I’ve ever had success with, as a not-so-young-anymore adult. Online has been much more fruitful always.
I guess what you’re trying to say is if you’re into all those outdoorsy hobbies you end up meeting people IRL?
I brought up online stuff because some over here refuse to get outside, if that’s you then it might work out.
You were talking about IRL, yet mention game servers and VRC? Wut?
I do appreciate the suggestions but I wasn’t asking for advice lol, I was debating your point. I have no trouble meeting people, but your way isn’t one I’ve ever had success with, as a not-so-young-anymore adult. Online has been much more fruitful always.
Meetup.com has a lot outdoors groups for camping, hiking, outdoors skills, etc. Local outdoor climbing groups are also popular places to meet people, as well as climbing gyms, especially if you meet another solo autobelayer that needs a toprope pal. Your municipal community centers usually host things like dodge ball and other events. Your city is almost guaranteed to have one or two major cycling groups, which offer everything from queer history rides (gentle, 3mi rides) to 200mi long weekend rides.
There’s also singles adventures groups (a paid service) that do everything from high ropes courses to boat excursions to ballroom dancing nights.
If you’re a furry, telegram has a lot of groups for local skiing/mountain biking/gardening/rock climbing/cons/parties. Usually municipal events chats too.
Yeah I guess if you’re into this weird stuff or you’re a furry, but again, none of those are IRL, and that’s what’s being debated, since the guy I’m replying to specifically said “IRL” as opposed to OP asking how to meet people online. Please learn to read.
These are all outside, IRL. All of the things I just mentioned are where the schedules are posted…
They’re literally on a website meetup.com… you’re finding people ONLINE to then meet IRL. It’s not the same as meeting people IRL, same as how online dating is still online dating even though you meet the person IRL, because you met them online on the dating apps or whatever.
Back 10-15 years ago a friend tricked me into trying social dancing (think swing, salsa, tango, etc.) by telling me we were going bowling. They drove so I could not escape. Turns out I like it and since it’s not partnered a lot of people come alone and if you can summon up basic courtesy and respect, many of them will dance with you if you just ask. Different dances have different vibes. Swing is wholesome and a bit retro-nerdy, salsa is more flirty and extroverted, tango is intense and deeply technical. I made thousands of IRL acquaintances and dozens of friends doing this over the years. I never went or continued doing it because of the people, but they sure made it worth going. I never saw myself doing or liking this until I tried it. Now I can’t imagine my life without and I seek it out in every city I travel to. I imagine other hobbies could be similar. You can find group bike rides for various skill levels. Maybe your area has a nature hike club or a mycological society (people who study mushrooms). Poetry slams can be surprisingly cool too. None of this is advertised well, but a great place to look is in the back of an alternative newspaper that covers music and art and stuff like that. Like the back back, just before the weed and escort ads.
I have no interest in any of this.
Where are you going to meet people IRL?
OP specifically said online.
Tbf, the comment they replied to said:
You really want online? I guess playing games, >discord, vrchat.
My suggestion, do stuff IRL
So with that in mind
Where are you going to meet people IRL?
Isn’t really that odd of a question to ask in response to
My suggestion, do stuff IRL
Read the comment I’m replying to
it really helps to live in a city i think. run/cycling, ski meetups are where is at for me
Hey people have dated and married over gaming chats before. I knew someone in college he met his then about to engage fiance. I lost contact after graduation though
Meeting people is much possible in the real world.
Is it? Fucking where? And how? Because all the people I know I’ve met through dating apps up, online forums, or knew them from school or uni. I have plenty of hobbies, but there aren’t any even vaguely related groups for them, and if they are, they aren’t very discoverable.
How do you not meet people? Even if you’re stuck in front of a computer all day you can go out to a pub or something at the weekend. Put yourself in a social environment and be friendly. It sounds like you even have experience of that from school and uni.
People at the pub don’t talk to strangers, bruh, pls tell me your so-called “advice” isn’t to literally just harass random stranger groups just having a day out at the pub. As an extraverted person please don’t do that, that’s gonna get the cops called on ye sooner or later, most of us are just being polite.
At school you are in forced social situations where you have to bond to “survive” (ask for advice/help to pass classes), less at uni, but it still helps. That’s why the friends I have from there I’m honestly relatively distant with because we don’t actually have much in common except past shared experience.
I do meet people plenty, all initially online though, not IRL. Dating apps have been where I met most of my friends.
I’m in the US with no car (and not in a city), and don’t drink. No idea on anything that could even be mistaken for a social environment, especially when it requires money.
I mean yeah I’m also not wired for that, so add in other issues/oddities and that’s just how it is I guess.
What do other people in your area do?
From what I see from family, it probably involves drinking or travel/expenses beyond me (also, with their existing connections). Though these days if it’s not work or shopping they probably are staying home more often than not.
I ride my bike on a multi-use trail, but given the sparse area not good odds to meet anyone due to multiple reasons.
I don’t have an answer about online methods… I went through the phase of how to meet people as well, and eventually decided to join / try out some group activities. I did some rookie dragon boating, table tennis, stand up paddle, and eventually met my forever spouse as she taught me scuba diving. PS: other than the scuba diving, those were all free activities for beginners. Good luck
A couple years ago I had my discord nametag as my Mario Kart Wii nickname, zheg#someNumbers, random people added me and then talked with them while playing. Those were good ol’ days.
