I’m kinda doubtful it would be helpful when most of my little white lies are masking. I’m not lying to protect you. I lie to protect myself.

Wow really leaning on that “mildly” interesting. The setup was long, lots of background which was great, but then just two examples and both were about external things (fantasy league and a book) that left it pretty unsatisfying. I’m sure the author tells a lot more white lies than that. And they either kept doing those lies without thinking about it, or missed an opportunity to talk about how the smallest lies add up. The “I’m good, you?”, “wow that sounds so cool”, “dinner was great” that sort of thing. The line between not saying and lying by omission could be explored. Lots of potential here

I appreciate the sentiment in the article. I feel as though people go out of their way to appease others, and that it’s generally not necessary. I give a straight “no” to invites for events I know I’m not interested in. Sometimes I say “Let’s check back as the event gets closer,” and mean it, because I have no interest in – nor am I capable of – committing to an evening out weeks in advance.

Same goes for when it’s time for me to go. I stand up, say “Okay, I’m out,” and I leave. I don’t gush about the wonderful time I had. I don’t try to set up the next hang. I just say goodbye and go, because it’s time to go. I will say thanks for having me or whatever, but anything else is meaningless and insincere.

I wasn’t particularly honest in my teens, and I think I grew out of it slowly in my 20s. I feel like I needed to please people, and that it perhaps stemmed from some insecurities. Life is much, much easier when you’re up front with yourself and others.

Telling lies to protect your privacy and your professional life is perfectly okay. The type of lies that you really want to avoid is big lies about relationships to people concerned, and lying to yourself, because that makes you incredibly stupid and screws up your brain.

Regarding The example given in the article, lying to get out of a social obligation , memorize this phrase: “I have a prior commitment.” People seldom challenge it or ask for details. It isn’t a lie, it is merely non-specific. That prior commitment could be as simple as “I made a commitment to myself to not do things I don’t feel like doing” or “I need to walk the dog” , descale the tea kettle or keep an appointment.

It’s nobody’s business but yours or perhaps your spouse’s which applies.