I get that you have no experience trying to play this game skillfully and don’t really care about the concept of fair competition but I can promise you, the competitive players would still dunk on you with every mechanic turned on. Because without the gimmicks you actually have to learn the base mechanics to win which Carrie’s to any game mode.

They know more about the game then you so they know how abusable the item system can be and how obstructive stage hazards can get. They’re looking to compete, not just dick around with friends so of course they’d look for the most equal ground to see who’s better.