Your mom isn’t even correct. Many do rely on medication for life, not because they started, but because it was always going to always be helpful. But some people do use medication to begin resolving issues and wean off to either manageable levels or none when they feel their issues are under control. Anxiety meds are notorious for that.

And honestly, depression and anxiety meds aren’t even inconvenient to need for life unless you’re unable to keep on them consistently (if that’s a fear then there are options that you can discuss with your doctor). I’m on adhd meds, and they however fucking suck to need because of restrictions on the medication causing shortages and similar problems. Either way every medication I’m on I’d tell my past self to start without hesitation.

I’m not an expert, just a depressed person myself. I guess you already know that what your mother tells you is wrong, but just in case here’s what my doctor told me:

The point of antidepressants is to get your messed up brain chemistry going again and to a level where you can start with other therapy methods. Basically get you in a position where you can work on your problems. Once you are getting better and you start being able to think more clearly again (for lack of a better term), you should eventually phase them out.

Ironically the opposite is more likely.

I have ADHD and am (now) medicated for it. Interestingly, I’ve noticed it’s become less effective. Not because my meds work worse, but that my brain works better. It now knows what a focused flow state feels like. It’s become easier to recreate it, even without the support of medication.

I suspect depression meds would do the same. The medication supports you in a better mental state. Your own brain learns that state and that it feels better. Eventually, you might not need the meds to hold that state. If you do, however, that’s also fine. The goal is to be the best version of you.

Does Mom wear glasses? She shouldn’t, she’ll rely on them forever.

Does Mom wear a jacket when cold? She shouldn’t, she’ll rely on one forever.

Does Mom wear shoes…?

I don’t know you other than your posts here, but I just want to say I like the cut of your jib.

And really hope you can get the help you need and away from your toxic family.

Don’t listen to non-medical people about medical things. It is really that simple. Listen to experts or trained people.

Untrue. I spent 18 months on antidepressants in my mid-30s and then I didn’t need them any longer. Everyone is different.

They’re obviously wrong, and commenters already gave you correct information that it typically isn’t long term (especially in combination with therapy, for some).

I will add two things I’ve seen before on the parent side (typically parents at a school). One, they might not understand that depression isn’t something they caused- in many cases, it’s biological and out of anyone’s hands. There’s a lot of taboo, much of which can be shame or guilt, which is fully unwarranted, but treating it admits it’s serious. “Could I have some something better?” and “what will others think?” are a common thoughts. I’m not sure if that’s the case in your culture, but perhaps.

Second, seeing a change in your child can be a little scary. They misunderstand what the change would be (y’know, happy) but imagine you love your child and all their qualities, and that’s going to change under medication. Maybe they’ll be less creative? Maybe they’ll lose their human side? And it’s true there will be a change, but the thing is depression is what’s changing who you are, not the medication.

Anyway that’s my two cents since I work in education and teach about these things to other educators. Parental approval is a REAL hurdle for education professionals and they don’t always succeed, but be persistent and make sure they understand it’s not shameful, it’s no one’s fault, medication will allow you to be yourself, and as everyone else has explained, it’s likely only temporary.

Have you told your mother to fuck off and die yet? We don’t need her kind around.

About 60% of people prescribed antidepressants take them for a little over 2 years and less than 15% take them for more than 10 years. The recommendation is that they be taken for six to twelve months after major symptoms subside but there are exceptions to the recommendation depending on the particular diagnosis, persistence of minor symptoms, risk of relapse, etc. So you may be on them for a couple of years, maybe longer, maybe for life. Only a qualified medical provider who has evaluated you can tell, and even then they can only give you a best guess. Health is complicated and subject to change, mental health only moreso.

From your comments I get the impression that you’re not actively suicidal, it sounds like you’re in that emotional spot where you don’t want to die but just not waking up doesn’t sound so bad. I’m pretty familiar with that spot. You should be aware that when antidepressants start to work they often restore energy and drive before their effects on mood brings your unconscious thoughts to a less dark place. That’s why they list suicide as a potential side effect. It’s important to have social and emotional support, maybe even be in active therapy, during the first couple of months after you start antidepressants.

I’m not a doctor or therapist. Beyond recognizing your username I know pretty much nothing about you. I can’t tell you what’s right for you or your situation. What I can tell you is that antidepressants were life changing for me. I’ll almost certainly be on them for life, and that was not a fun thing to deal with considering that I was born with multiple disabilities and medical anxiety/the thought of taking medication just to function close to normally everyday of my life was one of the bigger issues I needed to deal with. Mental health is no less real or valid than physical health. It’s not weakness or failure to have an illness. Antidepressants, like any other medication, is a tool. Don’t let social stigma or family pressure or your own anxiety stop you from picking up the tools you need to build the best life you can for yourself.

She is probably just secretly jealous that you have a tool to help yourself that she didn’t.