There are two men running for Senate in Michigan, and one of them sucks. See if you can guess which one based on their official statements about the condition of the Detroit Red Wings, solicited by the blog Octopus Thrower. For context, the Red Wings hold the longest active playoff drought in the NHL by three seasons; don’t currently employ an official, non-interim GM; haven’t yet agreed to a new deal with young defensive standout Simon Edvinsson; can’t seem to solve the problem of ex-captain Dylan Larkin’s trade demand; and are dealing with dwindling fan interest as they’ve won just one of their first six games.