Over a decade ago, I dated someone of a different race from me. I remember being anxious that I wouldn’t recognize her in a crowd the first handful of times that we met in crowded places. I’ve become much better at distinguishing people of different races since, but that’s only because I have a lot of racial exposure where I live.

I don’t know any way of changing this natural occurrence other than repeated exposure. Your brain needs practice. You don’t sound the least bit racist. In fact, you sound the opposite because you’re looking for better mental tooling.

Tbf, the problem in terms of kpop celebrities isn’t that they’re asians, but how they adhere to pretty strict beauty standards and often use cosmetic surgery for this, so they do, in fact, look pretty similar to one-another. I definitely can’t recognize any K-Pop or J-pop idol’s face, but I’ve never had this problem with any asian I’ve known irl. So maybe don’t think too deeply into it, I don’t think there’s anything wrong or racist about what you describe. Maybe try watching some asian movies with a less “spotless” aesthetic, stuff not necessarily for a young audience or where everyone is supposed to look beautiful, and see if you still have the same problem.

Yes you just have to see more Asian people.

When you’ve only seen one in your life, you can differentiate them from everyone else using some broad attributes. You don’t have to pay very close attention to the nuances of their facial structure.

It’s only when you know a lot of people who all have those broad attributes that you have to start noticing other things.

This isn’t racist, it’s just the brain doing what it does best: not work harder than it has to.

It sounds like you’re already doing the work of looking twice, looking closely, paying more attention. Just keep doing that. And remember you don’t have to feel bad about this.

In my experience, just consuming more media is a good way to become more familiar with the facial features that we might not pay enough attention to differentiate between people. When I first started watching Japanese movies, I had a bit of a hard time grasping who was who, but as time went on it became easier.

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This makes me think of those memes where people struggle with telling white male celebrities apart

Let me tell you an anecdote. I’m Asian and grew up in an Asian country. When I was studying abroad there’s a time when my American friends were watching a Japanese drama series. I was the one asking them throughout the watch session who’s who because I couldn’t tell the actors’ faces apart.

Each culture has a standard of beauty that celebrities try to emulate as closely as possible. As someone who’s lived in an Asian country for over a decade, it’s actually not that hard for me to identify whether someone is Korean, Chinese, or Japanese based on how they dress and present themselves. Where it gets difficult are celebrity groups within those nationalities. I get actors, actresses, and pop stars mixed up all the time because they all try to do their make-up the same way. This isn’t exclusive to Asia though. Westerners do the same thing and can be just as difficult to tell apart. It’s just we’re far more accustomed to it. That lady from Barbie? I have no idea who she is in or out of costume and could probably take a few incorrect shots. I don’t even know if she’s North American or from some country in Europe or Oceania.

How about Japanese media? Me as an SEAsian find it Japan has a more varied type of face in all the big 3. Of course there’s Ikemen (Handsome) & Bijin (Beautiful) type but when I watched JDrama I found them varied a lot.

Dude, I am asian, and I cannot tell kpop band apart to save my life. Some of them really look very similar; racial bias might make it worse, but I dont think it is completely racial.

I think the best way is just to keep watching more and more. Eventually you should be able to tell.

Man, I am white, live in a predominantly white country, and notice even white people looking the same and confusing them for other people. I’m not so sure it’s such a big deal. Humans look pretty close together and is why we constantly bicker about small differences like skin color and eye size; cuz there ain’t much else that’s different. 🙁

It’s an easier task if you’re looking at normal real people, not popstars deliberately selected for ‘ideal’ beauty archetypes, with professional makeup, filters, and editing.

This reminds me of the Korean beauty pageant profile photo discussion 10 years ago.

It’s not necessarily so much a race thing as it is a ‘cultural beauty ideals conformity’ thing. There are a lot of similar looking white celebrities too, the blonde pop princess cloning machine was working overtime in the early 2000’s.

The fact that you’re conscious of these biases and are trying to take a thoughtful approach to avoiding them probably means you don’t need to worry too much about it. I think it’s probably unrealistic to be able to memorize and identify every media star, and getting some actors of a certain ethnicity confused doesn’t automatically make you racist. I mix people up all the time, regardless of their background, so don’t sweat it too much. Over time, your recognition will improve, as with any other activity. Good luck!

Korean celebrities are the exception. I’m an Asian and can’t tell them apart lol.

its impossible asians just look the same

(not true im exaggerating but i definitely feel like there is a lot more genetic homogeneity and they just have more similar features)