• Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    “I can’t, because of my hand. My hand hurts so much. Life sucks because of this hand.”

    “You should go to a doctor to show your hand”

    “No! It won’t help anything! And it costs money. And I don’t know how to or want to anyway.”

    I’ve seen that too, where the person doesn’t want to actually even try to help themselves.

    • scratchee@feddit.uk
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      9 days ago

      Which of course is a symptom.

      “My leg is broken” “Then walk to the hospital, duh” “I can’t, my leg is broken” “Why are you choosing to live in pain?!”

      • uid0gid0@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        Then you carry them to the hospital and they don’t want to get treatment but they sure as hell want you to keep carrying them around. Been in that situation and it really sucks.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        9 days ago

        “Well you could call a taxi”

        “I don’t know how to besides it costs money and time…”

        “Well fine, I could drive you”

        “No I got other stuff to do.”

        “Just give me a time and I’ll do it”

        “I don’t know when ugh…”

        At that point people will just stop trying since it’s always the same wall.

    • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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      9 days ago

      And when the doctor decides you’re an attention seeking malingerer and refuses to help, what then?

      • towerful@programming.dev
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        9 days ago

        Don’t stop until you get help.
        I’m lucky to have a colleague who identified I was depressed, and had gone through a similar scenario.
        Don’t stop until you feel you’ve been heard, until you’ve been listened to, until you agree with the doctor.
        Don’t fucking stop

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        9 days ago

        If it is the first doctor to say that, I’d seek another opinion. If it’s the second or third, well maybe…

        • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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          9 days ago

          Let me guess, you’re a man? A most likely white, cis and straight, man.

          How am I doing?

            • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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              9 days ago

              Ask some of the women in your life about what it’s like trying to access healthcare. Ask how often they’re listened to by doctors and how much respect is given when they say something is wrong.

              • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                9 days ago

                You think it’s hard to access healthcare where I live? Why…?

                You’re making awfully lot of assumptions about other people ngl. Assuming their country is less weird but gender, sexuality, all that gets pretty weird.

                • Aksamit@slrpnk.net
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                  9 days ago

                  “Brave Men” and “Emotional Women”: A Theory-Guided Literature Review on Gender Bias in Health Care and Gendered Norms towards Patients with Chronic Pain

                  Analysis: Women’s pain is routinely underestimated, and gender stereotypes are to blame

                  There are hundreds more papers like this from many different countries.

                  There are also hundreds of reddit threads about this, with thousands upon thousand of replies from women all over the world, who also attest to it.

                  And queer men usually have some understanding of intersectional feminism these days, and have likely experienced some form of medical discrimination due to homophobia.

                  Not to mention folk of colour in predominantly white countries, who also regularly face medical discrimination.

                  So not believing that women (and female presenting folk) have a harder time accessing the healthcare they need, is yes, a very straight, white, male privileged point of view.

                  I do admit though that I am just guessing you are white and living in either the US, Canada, Australia, NZ, UK or Western Europe, mostly based on the fediverse demographic.

                  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                    9 days ago

                    It’s not great to assume stuff just because someone holds a different view. It’d be like me assuming you are a woman for being emotional and illogical. Not great and can be viewed as insulting, even when you feel it’s an informed and fair guess.

                    It’s just better to keep to the facts known and not argue with your assumptions.

          • Magrice@lemmy.world
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            9 days ago

            Trying to get someone to reframe their perspective in such a aggressive manner helps no one. Everyone has gaps in their experiences so let’s assume the best before lashing out

    • samus12345@lemmy.worldOP
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      9 days ago

      Notice how the “friends” are completely dismissive of the hand? If they actually thought it was cause for concern, that would be an improvement.

      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        9 days ago

        We don’t know how long this has been going on. If it’s been years and years of this, I get it.

        • samus12345@lemmy.worldOP
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          9 days ago

          If encouraging him to see a doctor were something they were doing, the comic would have shown that.

          • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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            9 days ago

            what is this, the hand again

            They do seem to have been through this before.

            • samus12345@lemmy.worldOP
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              9 days ago

              And it’s heavily implied it was brushed off before as well. No “I’ve tried to help you,” but rather “It’s not a big deal, get over it.”

              • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                9 days ago

                Well obviously the comic has that as the point, even though very similar situations have people who have tried to help but have been brushed off

                • samus12345@lemmy.worldOP
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                  9 days ago

                  Sure, but that’s not this situation. First they have to actually care to get to that point.