Shiver me timbers, the God that doesn’t bother preventing rape and genocide may lift a finger against me. Must mean I’m a good guy.
That’s like a child telling me Santa’s not coming this year.
Why should I be afraid? Isn’t he like really merciful and stuff?
reads bible
Oh
Yeah, the God of the Bible is a monster.
That’s why there was a whole school of thought back in antiquity called Gnosticism where they thought the god of the bible was an evil demiurge that had stolen their souls and locked them in this hellish earth to torture them lol
Shit, are we actually in hell right now?
Would that really be all that surprising?
If you are a Christian, you should be absolutely horrified by the reality of God’s coming judgement, since most major denominations of Christianity do not allow for salvation for any other. There are 40,000 denominations (slightly less). It’s highly unlikely yours is the right one.
There are a few exceptions. The Holy See recognizes the Orthodoxies, but not Protestants.
And Universalists offer salvation to everyone, even if they’re not Christian.
(If God was judging us, They might have given us clear instructions.)
Well given the whole tower of Babel thing I’m inclined to think that God just likes sewing chaos. So I suspect none of the denominations on that “right” denomination
Sowing, but sewing kind of works, too.
most major denominations of Christianity do not allow for salvation for any other. There are 40,000 denominations (slightly less). It’s highly unlikely yours is the right one.
Idk, bro. I’m Catholic by confirmation, Jewish by birth, and I accepted into my soul the blessed light of Islam one time in college. Pretty sure I’ve got the main bases covered.
The Holy See recognizes the Orthodoxies, but not Protestants.
The Holy See recognizes the Bishopry of the Orthodoxies (and the Anglicans). They dispute the ministry of Protestants, not the membership.
That’s better than I hoped. Do you have a source?
Didn’t the Holy See repeatedly excommunicate entire countries for being the wrong faith?
ETA: I know that fundamentalist Protestant churches like the non-denominational Evangelicals are strictly extra ecclesiam nulla salus, and are even harsh on their own parishioners.
It’s kinda weird since Sola fide and Sola Scriptura are fundamental doctrine of Protestantism, you are supposed to decide what scripture means and how to get salvation, but woe if you dare suggest this to your pastor.
I saw this thing once where a christian group had done an experiment where they interviewed people and they found that “people who said they didn’t believe in god felt uneasy when saying it” and used that to conclude that they were afraid of gods judgement. No you fucking idiots. They’re uneasy about YOU!!!
Threatening people with torture, very Christian
It’s because he loves you!
Dogma is worth the viewing time.
Religious people like being watched and punished.
lol I mean… same
The shear lack of cognitive empathy here is mind blowing. They cannot fathom a world in which they might be wrong. I mean there’s faith and then there is this. I have faith the sun will rise tomorrow, but I can imagine a scenario, however contrived, where that doesn’t happen.
Why would I be afraid of the Abrahamic God’s judgement when I know that wily Odin is forever forestalling Ragnarok?
If we’re being real Odin would absolutely body the god of the bible in a Flyting.
I mean, that’s sort of by design.
The God of the New Testament throws fights all the time. All their favorite people are Martyrs. The greatest hits mostly involve dying and then doing benign miracles from beyond the grave.
idk if you know what a flyting is
Hahahahahaha don’t hurt me sky daddy
Omfg laughing so hard
Is Santa gonna come get me too? And the tooth fairy
Hahahahaha
Honestly, of all three, the Tooth Fairy is probably the scariest if real. God couldn’t care less about you. Santa visits only once a year when sober, but only if you’re sleeping. The Tooth Fairy? How many teeth you got???
Pratchett’s Hogfather has an interesting take on that.
Spoilers...
The original Tooth Fairy (the whole thing is now a franchise started by him) is a bogeyman who realised milk teeth, being parts of the body, could be used to control the people they belonged to through sympathetic magic and, lacking a proper occupation due to people no longer believing in bogeymen, decided to collect them and keep them safe to prevent anyone from controlling their previous owners.
Also tooth fairies tend to carry a pair of pliers, in case they’re short on change and need to take an extra tooth.
I mean, wouldn’t the tooth fairy be like easy to kill.
Why would you kill it? You can’t eat it without your teeth.
I guess it depends on what they look like…
Be nice - pretty much everybody believes something that’s wrong.
That to one side, those are not the same things at all. There’s evidence for Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
The Easter Bunny is coming! The Easter Bunny is coming!
My thinking is, if the Christian God does exist, then based on his own scripture he’s a heinous war criminal who isn’t WORTHY of my respect.
Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
I always thought I had come up with a similar version of this of my own accord and then I later found out it was an existing quote. Wasn’t it by Marcus Auralias almost 2,000 years ago?
And if it’s Oden and you’re the fighter type, then maybe when you die, a Valkyrie will take you to Valhalla where you’d feast for ages.
I mean, hailing Thor and Oden doesn’t cost very much compared to the christian god!
Me too. I don’t know if he exist, but if he does, he’s a fucking douche.
Just kidding. He doesn’t exist.
New Testament is supposed to turn old testament on its head. If you read Acts, and if it is to be believed, Jesus was ahead of his time. Quite likely the worlds first hippy.
And yet.
Even if everything in both testaments is true, you still don’t get credit for offering salvation from punishment that YOU are giving out of your OWN volition in exchange for overcoming weaknesses YOU created.
If you submitted that as an animal test proposal for RATS you’d be thrown out of academia for gross ethical violations, and I don’t feel like worshiping a deity that can’t live up to the lofty moral ideals of a university bureaucracy.
My point was there are different schools of thought under the broad umbrella of Christianity.
The original question was regarding the hellfire and damnation of the post. I answered that question. None of this was proposed as an endorsement.
I mean buddha was like a thousand years earlier and im sure there were hippies before that too. jesus probably wasn’t real nothing recorded exists about him except decades after his supposed life, he was the Aramaic Paul Bunyan
Either way, my point is, whoever posted this didn’t read
Pff, you wish, loser, my sky dad can definitely beat yours up. Pussy ass bitch sends angels to do all his murders anyways.
Idk if god isn’t some morally bankrupt joke and actually thought about my life, I think I’d be ok, I volunteer regularly, I give to charity, I like to do random acts of kindness, I’m always ready to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on. I believe very strongly in the power of community and I’m a lot more culturally christian than most believers I know, I like all the love your neighbor stuff, do unto others, what we do to the least of us… I feed the hungry, I give drink to the thirsty, I welcome the stranger, I clothe the naked, the only one I don’t do is visit those in prison. If god is a good and moral being, I’ll be ok and if it turns out they don’t exist, well I’ll have lived a good life
the rapture - but this time for realsies! ™️
I’m selling pet insurance for the rapture if anyone’s interested
Insurance to take care of the pet after? Or to pay someone who’s pet gets raptured and they don’t?
Apparently, pets are not eligible for the rapture, so I’ve assembled a global network of non-believers ready to step in for believers’ pets after their pious Christian owners get raptured
But how can they trust anybody who gets left behind not to sacrifice their pets to Asmodeus during a D&D game between orgies?
At that point it won’t matter
Ahh. Well that makes as much sense as the rapture, so good on you.
are you hiring?
Seriously, I want to find a way to provide convincing evidence that the rapture happened and you weren’t invited. (Neither was I.) I think it would be a momentarily painful but ultimately character-building exercise for them to process that out.
