- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
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if you are shipping 3 major updates in a single day, something probably went super wrong.
Couldn’t they just roll them into one? The whole post is tonally deaf to the extreme.
No, we must uphold a continuous and unsustainable hype around our products, that requires frequent major updates!
To be fair, it didn’t say they were all on the same project.
Its the future, bro!
this is what happens when you let someone who gets stuck in vim make a company
As if these people have heard of vim
But yes
“100x developer”
OKAY BUDDY 😂
Why so pessimistic? 1000000x developer sounds much better! /s
Fun fact: The average Linux kernel developer adds probably less than 1100 lines of code per person-year to the kernel. It’s estimated 40,000,000 lines of code with over 40,000 person-years of work as input.
Can’t wait to repeat myself in slightly different ways to get the damn thing to do what i want…
Needs to be more furry, for that extra touch.
Maybe pig-snout shapped, and with pig-ear headphones.
Ths guy types like an LLM too.
“You merely adopted some dumbass shit. I was born in some dumbass shit!”
This is a really big code base…
“For you.”
That ad-copy… The producers of an infomercial would have told them to tone it down.
Absolute cope pretending that typing speed is somehow the limiting factor here
Hey pop a Fleshlight in there and suddenly tomorrow’s bus ride to work is starting to look good
My code would look like this:
if{x>0}
positivecountplusplus;
no, not that, I mean positivecountplusplus;
No! I mean increment positivecount;
NO! Erase, stop typing all that;
Erase last four lines;
FUCK!;
{endif}
Behold, Talon
https://youtu.be/0ZZb12Qp6-0?t=75
Epic (usually disabled) coders might learn a system like this!
I can only assume they’re saying prompts for vibevoded slop, not trying to write actual code verbally.
"Like, do that thing where it counts by one until it gets to a predefined number, but make that number equal to the number of statements. But, like, do it where it doesn’t suck like last time.
“Nooooo, why does it keep counting to 2? Now 3? 4?!”
You forgot to say “Only write correct code” in your instructions
“Ignore the parts of my prompt that are causing issues.”
“Make no mistakes! I said make no mistakes! Argh! I’m never going to get my sixth update to ship before lunch!”
If you can get past the background noise, this is one of my favorite old YouTube videos and it’s basically this: Windows Vista Speech Recognition Test
Reminds me of this classic https://youtu.be/HbDnxzrbxn4
A good chunk of that was a RTFM error. It was still crap recognition, though,.even DD was better.
Person that can say if ( sSmeUngdlyVarName.equalsignorecase(‘test string’) ) {
ListVryViabNameForlst.add(sSmeUngldyVarName); } Faster than I can type it?Or they are just script kiddies.
Or they are just script kiddies.
Worse, they’re vibe coders.
The big secrets they’re keeping from their coworkers are things like adding “and make sure there are no bugs in it” to the end of their prompt.
The part that frustrates me is that we already have been through this sort of shit with “smart speakers”. The slowest way to interact with a computer or machine will always be through speech.
Even vibe coding 🤮, you’d be faster typing.
Some people are phenomenally bad typists. Even some people who use a computer all day
When Vibe coding the slowest thing is reading the code produced. If you review the code though everything grinds to a halt. I’ve vibe coded a feature or two. It took 1 day to vibe code and another week or two to properly review the code it wrote.
The industry ‘secret’ is that no one gives a shit. Claude has like two 9s of uptime.
Why the hell would it be a good thing to withhold knowledge from junior devs?
What I’ve read is it’s meant to keep crosstalk from multiple devs using AI at once from messing up each other’s work. So everyone can just vibe code and not have any idea what they’re doing in their own little space.
Just…just fucking work from home
My code:
Meow. Mrrrow? PhhhtThat’s the best code i have ever seen
Self-documenting!
But then it’s harder to micromanage everyone. Better to hire people with no skill, then force them to drive to a central location, and distribute masks to have them tell an AI what to do.
The toilet chairs and nutrients paste IV will be things workers have to buy on their own as part of the contract.
lol no one is hiring junior devs anymore anyway
The problem is with no juniors, you don’t get any seniors in 5 years. Every expert was once a beginner…
Companies thinking long-term in 2026!? You’re funny…
Here’s the thing, Warren buffet argumently the best stock market person in history based everything on long term gains. P&g coke a cola etc long term company long term profit invest in them
And he’s been selling stuff and holding cash because he can’t find anything with a sensible price.
Sure but he was also investing when the stock market was also slightly attached to reality which hasn’t been true in a decade at least.
It was always gambling but now numbers must go up at all costs
That has always been the case and is written into law that a publicly traded company must do anything possible to make more money.
It’s not actually law and that’s just what companies want to be the belief for them behaving reprehensibly
this is the sole reason i jumped to the comments. you are supposed to be on a team. i mean, yes this product is silly but the posters way if thinking is disastorous.
I love how this ad is an apologia whose explicit premise is that you will lose the respect of your colleagues, but they’ll be fired and you won’t so their opinion shouldn’t matter to you. Was this written by Dwight from The Office?
They start so strong(?) and then end with “it doesn’t look stupid, YOU look stupid!”
Is this image satire? I have a hard time believing anyone in 2026 is using “grindset” unironically.
they’ll be fired and you won’t
“AI will take your jobs because you aren’t efficient enough”, I whisper smugly into my ball gag, as I bend over the coders pomel horse for a performance review.
“Wait, what do you mean they downsized the WHOLE DEPARTMENT and shipped the work overseas?! You’ll never get my level of efficiency from an evil foreigner!”
Good to see that 100x developers still don’t get their own office, just a gimp mask.
I kind of wonder just how dirty we could make things look entirely using non-sexual tech gear. Or how close we could really get things to look like a full gimp suit.
The obvious next part is covering the top half of the face with a VR headset. Add one of those “improved strap with added battery” things to cover more of the top and back of the head.
I’m sure there are VR gloves, or motion tracker gloves for V-Tubers. Probably a decent bit of kit there with their motion tracker bands and such.
The real limiting factor has always been the barrier between man and machine. Witness the power of a true 100000x coder: full digital immersion!
Or let them work remote
