“I slept like a 13-year-old on a Saturday morning”
This is way more accurate
“I slept like god during the Holocaust.”
I slept like a teen who’s parents had to go to work early, and decided to sleep in and skip school
I farted myself awake because it stank like an outhouse gave birth to a sewage company and the whole damn honeydipper family was invited?
sorry.
sorry. i been through some gas stations lately. Feed your teens vegetables, parents.
At 13 I stood up at 6 am and rebuilt my whole setup
That’s why it’s “slept like a baby”, not “slept like a baby’s parent”. The baby is sleeping just fine, they just don’t need to sleep for long uninterrupted periods like when they get older
“I slept like a baby” basically translates to “I pissed and shit myself and woke up screaming”.
Can confirm, my son did that at least once.
He was 22.
if you’ve done something reprehensible you might be asked how you sleep at night. maybe sleeping like a baby is due to the association with innocence rather than literally how a baby sleeps (this is probably nonsense)
Correct. For example, after aborition? Yeah, slept like a baby. No regrets.
The incredibility about that statement only comes from babies having dramatically different, incompatible sleep schedules compared to grownups. And not all babies are the same, of course. Once my kids were down though they slept through earthquakes and I suspect even a hypothetical 747 revving its engines next to the bed wouldn’t have woken them up. There is some truth to the saying.
I like to think of it as “slept like a baby puppy/kitten” because those little dudes just pass out wherever they’re at and you can’t wake em
It’s true. Every year when we got baby chicks on the farm, we’d hold them and watch them fall asleep in our hands.
My cousin, who has given birth twice, says a more accurate phrase is “I slept like a dad” (Her husband is super attentive and at least as involved in raising the children as she is). She told me this when we took the younger child, about eight months old, for a walk. Lots of heavy, loud traffic; cousin and I had to raise our voices to speak, yet the baby calmly slept the entire time.
And i quote a comedian: “What? You shit you pants? You wake up crying every half an hour?”
Edit: Ben Bailey
you mean you shat yourself, woke up screaming, then shat yourself again?
I guess I got lucky, from 3 months my baby was sleeping through the night.
2 years and mine still wakes up in the middle of the night most nights, but only briefly and gets back to sleep without my help
To be fair, babies do sleep a lot. But they also wake up a lot. So we’ve gotta be constantly ready for whatever their vibe is.
Waking up a lot is a side effect of sleeping a lot. When the fall-asleep-count and the wakeup-count diverge by more than 1 parents tend to worry rather quickly.
Heehee you’re not wrong. Maybe I should’ve been more specific while stating the obvious: Newborn babies spend most of the day sleeping but wake up frequently & briefly for maintenance needs.
Oh my god my baby literally slept all the time. She would fall asleep on me constantly, always fell asleep in the car, etc. She slept like a baby.
A lot of people here are turning green with envy.
Had our newborn with us to a party. And since this was our first kid everyone wanted to hold him. We were passing him around like a joint. Usually he’d wake up easily. But that day nothing would wake him up. We probably could have chucked him over the table without any trouble.
How newborn? Because for that first few weeks you absolutely should not be trying to expose a newborn to every possible disease.
4 months old? Not super new. Definitely after puerperal bed.
From what age are babies allowed to take painkillers again?
Depends on weight, but usually 6 months or older. Around the 12lb or ~5.4kg mark.
If they get sick before that…just have to keep fluids up, deal with the crying, and if the fever goes over a specific temp you gotta take them to the hospital.
Our 4 month old got a bad fever and we called the nurse hotline for our hospital to see the next steps and they said “we don’t have any appointments open, take him to the ER” and we were flabbergasted because that’s the LAST place you should take a sick baby. We pushed but they wouldn’t budge.
So we took our kid to the ER, the ER nurse and doc flipped their shit and said why we brought him there, told them so-and-so nurse on the hotline said to and that there weren’t any appointments. They took the baby immediately just to get him out of the ER and did whatever they could(I was at work, momma was at home still on maternity leave, so don’t have details), but the ER doc asked for the name of the nurse on the hotline and we’re guessing he said some shit up the chain.
So yeah, fun times!
Had our newborn with us to a party.
YTA
I’m presuming it was a “meet up and have dinner with your friends and show them your new baby” rather than a “let’s do weed and beer and hangout with all our mutual friends while listening to loud music” party, but your heart is in the right place
Why?
Maybe it should be “slept like a teenager”. I remember sleeping for 10+ hours straight, just dead to the world. Man, I miss that.
Babies sleep pretty well when they actually sleep, but they have many short periods of sleep :p
